Knowing
by silver drip
Summary: Edward catches a glimpse of the future and knows he's going to love Bella before she even moves to Forks, but he also knows that Carlisle is going to love her too. See the lengths he'll go to keep them apart and win her heart. On Hiatus.
1. Before My Eyes These Can't Be Lies

Chapter 1: Before My Eyes, These Can't be Lies

It all felt like a dream, like something only the illogical mind could make up in slumber, but there was one problem with that thought. Vampires could not sleep.

Edward would have thought it was one of Alice's visions if not for three things. One, he was in the middle of the forest alone in his own personal meadow, too far to hear any thoughts. Two, what he saw was too outlandish to ever happen in the future. Lastly, when Edward read Alice's mind and saw her visions he never felt the emotions that went with them.

Blinking wildly Edward sat up and tried to clear his mind. He listened intently hoping to hear someone's bizarre thoughts. No thoughts but his own were heard to account for the hallucination he had just seen.

It all felt disgustingly real to Edward as he looked around his lovely meadow. He could feel it. The vision flashed through his mind again making him buckle over in pain.

His vision started out tame. A woman, a brunette that would catch most any man's eye. Edward didn't know her name, but he was sure that she was the love of his existence.

Lights were flashing across her face as she sat in the passenger's seat of a car. There was a happy look in her eyes. Rage flared in Edward as he saw his father figure Carlisle sitting beside her. Something about Carlisle being where ever they were for a medical convention was mentioned. Images of them mid coitus burned Edward's eyes. Word's of love were exchanged

Carlisle offers to leave Esme, but the beautiful woman denied him out of morals obligation. The love between them was palpable as they parted ways.

The picture breaks and goes to another. Edward sees his arms around her, but he can feel that her heart isn't his. He can feel that the only one he could ever love has given her heart to Carlisle, but he was slowly winning her. The image blends into another, but this time the woman's arms were around Esme in a sort of twisted irony.

Esme was weeping about her husband leaving her.

Then Edward did something he knew was true to his character, but he wished it wasn't. He broke up with the woman because he didn't want to damn her immortal soul. All that went to Hell though when a few years later she was turned into a vampire.

Edward's heart soared. He was back with her, but then Carlisle whisks her away and Edward knew he would never have all of her again.

There were so many images and little stories swirling about and none of them made sense.

A harsh scream escaped Edward. It was the only way he could express the emotional chaos raging inside him. He pulled at his hair breathing in deeply.

Edward didn't understand where all these images and emotion were coming from. It was pushing him towards insanity.

A shrill ringing shook Edward out of his thoughts. He flipped open his cell phone.

"Edward," Esme said in a motherly tone, "school is going to start in less than half an hour. I don't want you to be late."

"Thanks mum. Don't let Alice touch my car. I'll be home in time to drive everyone to school." Edward snapped his phone shut and let running take his mind.

When Edward entered the household everyone was ready but him.

"Put some hustle in your bustle, Edward." Jasper said as he leaned against the stair railing, tapping his foot in a slow beat.

"Just let me have your keys and Jasper and I will go to school while you skip." Alice said as she hopped down the stairs and to Jasper.

"No, Alice, just get your own car." Edward said as he changed into fresh clothing in his room.

"Maybe I will." Alice mumbled while she went through a list of German cars in her head.

The ride to school was filled with useless chatter until they pulled into the parking lot. Alice was about to remove her seatbelt before Edward stopped her.

"Alice," He paused and she looked at him curiously, "have you had any odd visions lately?"

"You're going to have to clarify your meaning of odd." Alice said with a chuckle. "Emmett and Rose are on vacation alone. Of course I'm seeing very odd things, odd and disturbing things." Edward didn't smile at her humor.

"Are you alright?" Jasper asked from the backseat, sensing Edwards disheveled emotions. Edward looked between them reading their thoughts.

"It's nothing. Let's just get to class. I don't want to be late." Edward left Alice and Jasper confused in his car as he headed off.

As he walked through the halls all Edward could see is that woman. He stepped in front of a locker. He could picture her opening it, slowly turning the combination lock, thirty-two, eighteen, seven. Edward's fingers itched to try the combination on the locker, but it scared him. If the number sequence didn't open the locker he would feel like he was truly going insane, but if it did work. . . Edward didn't know what he would do.

The bell rang and Edward swore under his breath. The teacher scolded him as he entered the already busy classroom. He dazed out as he sat in his desk. The teacher pointed to the desk next to him asking something about the Mayan civilization. Edward turned expecting the woman to be there as she had been in his vision. Instead there was a red head sitting in the desk that he never bothered to learn the name of.

Jasper asked Edward what was wrong various times throughout the day until they finally made their way home.

"Edward, get in the game. This is the third time I've beaten you in a row. You're not even trying anymore." Jasper said as he scrolled down the list on the TV screen to play another round.

The front door opened and Carlisle's scent wafted in. Edward growled. Jasper was about to question him, but he recovered quickly.

"Shut up, Jasper. You're just cheating." Jasper shoved him playfully and they started another race.

Edward could hear Esme and Carlisle talking happily together upstairs. It calmed him.

"I have no idea what type of car I should get." Alice chatted away happily with Rose on her phone from the other room. "Rosie when you get back we should go to that store in Germany you bought your BMW at. I'll book our tickets now." Alice scurried to her laptop.

"Alice," Carlisle called from upstairs, "while you are there can you book me a ticket to Phoenix Arizona for the sixteenth." Edward stilled and the game control in his hand cracked. "Dr. Anderson wants me to attend a medical convention in his stead."

**Quick note, the future Edward sees is another story I wrote, A Missed Year, but you don't need to read the other one to get this one. ****Oh, and for this story we are going to say that Jasper is still at the High School even though he should have graduated. Do what cha do and review. Any Qs? PM me.  
**


	2. Huston, We’ve Got a Problem

Chapter 2: Apple to Huston. Apple to Huston. Huston, We've Got a Problem.

'_Apples are an odd sort of fruit. They are one of the few fruits were it is normal to eat with or without the skin. They are more like potatoes than any other fruit. You could eat them with or without the skin, but when you eat them without they oxidize and change to an unappetizing colour. Of course, apples and potatoes taste nothing alike, and they both certainty don't taste like oranges! According to my memory at least. That's strange though, considering that when people cut apples up they tend to cut them into wedges that are hauntingly similar to orange wedges. . .'_

"Edward!" Alice nearly shouted from across the table. Edward cringed as he was startled out of his thoughts. "Pay attention to what you are doing." Edward looked down to where Alice was staring. While he was pondering about fruits and vegetables he had peeled away the skin of the apple from the tender flesh, but he didn't stop there. Edward had continued scraping away at the apple leaving just the core.

As Edward cleaned up his mess Alice and Jasper exchanged a worried look. Edward had been acting strange for almost a week now and the whole family was worried. A few days ago Carlisle had called Edward into his office to ask what was wrong. Edward lashed out at him, before disappearing into the forest for a hunt.

The bell rang and the three Cullens went to their separate classes. The physics teacher was just handing out a worksheet when Edward sat at his desk. He droned out directions and by the time he was done Edward had already finished the paper.

Her scent engulfed him and every breath was ambrosia at its finest. She was a vision, but he could feel her silky tendrils between his fingers. Edward could feel every movement she made beneath him.

With a start Edward was pushed out of his thoughts as his angry teacher slapped another worksheet on his desk.

"Damn Cullens."

Edward chuckled and adjusted himself trying to hide his embarrassment of having an erection in class. He felt like Emmett when Rosalie sat behind him in sex ed., whispering in his ear.

This time he filled out his work sheet slowly.

The chief of police's house, he had seen her there in his visions. Edward didn't want to go there. It would be too real, his hallucination smearing with reality.

At the end of the school day Edward dropped Alice and Jasper at the mansion and sped off without an explanation. His fingers drummed against the steering wheel as he sat in Chief Swan's driveway. Finally he pushed himself forward and knocked against the chipped paint of the front door.

When Chief Swan opened the door his face was beet red and a thin sheen of sweat covered his brow. The smell of cleaning products wafted out causing Edward to cringe at the assaulting scent.

"Chief Swan?" Edward asked in his most polite voice.

"Yes, how may I help you?" Charlie eyed the teenager in front of him, not used to anyone visiting his house other than Jake and Billy Black.

"I'm Edward Cullen, one of Dr. Cullen's kids. I'm working on a project about Forks and the surrounding area and I was wondering if I could ask you a couple questions about the crime rate and what demographic you usually arrest." Charlie smiled widely, always one to be proud of his job. He ushered Edward in.

"Let me just clean this up real quick." Charlie picked up a bucket of mop water and went to the back door. The water was disgustingly dirty as he tossed it out on the already wet grass. He placed the grimy mop outside.

Edward scanned the area quickly. The kitchen counters were freshly wiped down and had a lemony scent to it. The tiled kitchen floor was another matter. It looked like it had been washed for the first time in many years. The caked on grit had been smeared around and Edward was seriously doubting if the mop could handle that sort of mess.

"In the past month how many arrest have you made." Charlie started hand washing the dishes as he thought. Edward stood beside him, grabbing a dish rag to dry them.

"Two arrest in Forks and eight on the highway." Charlie added more soap to the dish water. "Aren't you going to write this down?" Edward had failed to bring a notebook for his charade.

"I have an excellent memory, Chief Swan." Charlie looked at him incredulously and handed him a wet dish. Edward spewed out a few more questions before going off task. "Why are you cleaning your house so thoroughly? It looks like you haven't mopped in years." Chief Swan blushed and Edward blanched. It looked familiar.

"My daughter is coming to live with me. I want the house to look perfect." The dish in Edward's hand slipped, but he quickly caught it. Charlie dried off his hands and walked into the front door ready to usher Edward out.

"I didn't know you had a daughter."

"Yes, most don't. She used to live in Phoenix, Arizona with her mom, but they started moving around and she got annoyed at switching school so much so now she's going to live with me." Edward could see the happiness in his eyes. A picture of her flashed through Charlie's mind and Edward stopped breathing.

"Is she in college?" Edward fished. Charlie snorted.

"I'm not that old, boy. Bella is a senior in high school."

'_Bella, Bella, Bella.' _The name felt right in Edward's head.

"Well then maybe I'll see her around. Thanks for all the help, Chief Swan."

"It was no problem kid."

* * *

Edward sat in his Volvo motionless, hands gripping the steering wheel with tremendous force. His car was sitting on the side of the road, halfway between his house and Charlie's.

'_Bella, Bella, Bella.'_

His heart lurched and he keeled over, clutching his chest.

'_She's real. Carlisle, She'll lo-'_ He couldn't think it.

'_I need to, I have to, do something.' _

It hurt so much. Every time his eyes closed, even for a second he saw them together.

Hatred welled up. He wanted to kill his own sire. He wanted to rip Carlisle up and burn him before Bella could ever see him.

'_Esme'_ Edward could use her some way. He was sure of it, he just didn't know how yet. He felt bad at the thought of using her, but it was for her own good. If Bella never saw Carlisle or vice versa than Esme would stay happily married to Carlisle.

The medical convention, he couldn't let Carlisle go to it. Bella's and Carlisle's paths would intersect if he went.

With a new found initiative Edward started his car and headed home. As he entered the house he mussed up his hair and tilted his head downwards. Alice was the first one to see him.

"Are you alright?"

"Where's Carlisle?" Alice frowned at him.

"His shift just ended. He should be home soon." Esme walked in and when she saw the look of worry on Alice's face she immediately mirrored.

"Tell him I'll be in his office waiting."

Carlisle's office sickened him. He couldn't stand Carlisle, let alone his smell that filled the room. Edward sat in the leather chair. His finger nails dug into the leather, pulling it from the seams. In a swift motion he pulled the armrest off and tossed it at a bookcase, shattering it and causing many books to fall to the ground.

Everyone in the house froze and similar worried thoughts spiraled in their heads.

Edward tangled up his hair up more and he watched stray pages of book float down gracefully.

Fifteen minutes later Carlisle walked into the house. Esme whispered a worried warning to him and directed him upstairs.

The door to the office opened and Edward flinched. He tried to contain his hate, but some leaked through catching Jasper's attention.

"Hello Edward." Carlisle said in a calm voice. He sat behind his desk, laying his ebony suitcase down. With a click he opened it and rifled through the papers. In an annoying slow motion he pulled out a few papers and put them in a neat stack to be look at and pulled out a fountain pen-

"Carlisle." Edward's voice was rough and for the first time since Carlisle entered the room he actually looked at Edward. Carlisle's golden eyes met Edward's black. He put down his pen and gave his full attention to Edward.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm slipping. The blood is getting to me again. I can't think straight." Carlisle's eyes were wide with understanding.

"When did it start up again?"

"A week, maybe two ago. A girl in one of my classes had a nose bleed and I almost-" Edward flinched. "-killed her."

"Maybe you should go back up to Denali for a while, take a few weeks to pull yourself together. I'm sure the sisters would be happy to see you." Carlisle's voice would have been calming, if not for the images that kept flashing through Edward's head.

"No, I need to stay here if I want to control it. I need your help."

The medical convention flashed into Carlisle's mind and just like that his trip was canceled.

**Don't even ask me where that whole apple thing came from. I'm not even for sure. Review please. **


	3. Hello Interrupted Equals Hell No

Chapter 3: Hello Interrupted = Hell No

Edward was counting down the days till Bella would enter the lovely state of Washington. There were only a few left.

His 'control' was slowly getting better thanks to Carlisle's help.

At the speed of a bullet a baseball went whizzing towards Edward. He caught it easily and tossed it back to Jasper. He was becoming a problem.

Edward never had a need to control his emotions before. Of course back before he 'saw' Bella the only emotions he felt were regret, content, annoyance, and on occasions happiness. Hatred, nervousness, love, and lust were not on his usual pallet.

The ball came dashing back and landed in Edward's hand. They were both trying to read the other.

No coherent thoughts went through Jasper's head, only tidbits of Alice, a videogame, and when Rose and Emmett were going to return. The only emotions Edward felt were a slow boredom mixed with contentment, both artificial. Neither got anything.

The baseball was falling apart when it landed in Jasper's hand again.

"School starts in an hour." Jasper stated in a bland voice.

"Alice already picked out your clothing for today?" Edward said with a smirk. Jasper chuckled and hurtled the ball with extra force.

"Yup, and clothing for the next week too." The baseball was no longer a sphere when Edward caught it. He dropped it on the ground and smashed it beneath his foot. The two brothers walked into the house together silently.

* * *

Alice always knew things before everyone else did, but this time she was in the dark. Edward couldn't understand how she could take it, knowing things that would change so many lives.

It must have been torture for her to wait for Jasper after she had already seen their love. Edward was feeling that torture tenfold. The days kept counting down and with each one his excitement and worry escalated.

"Alice," Edward said in a questioning voice, "how do you handle your visions, I mean the ones you can't control?" Alice put down her sketch book and looked up at him, deciding how to word her answer.

"It's hard. Knowing someone you went to school with some twenty years back is about to die horribly or some earth quake is about to kill thousands, it really hurts me." Sadness plagued Alice. "But there is nothing I can do without revealing myself or us. I just have to except it, even if it hurts a lot of people." Edward suppressed a sigh.

"That's horrible."

"It can wear me down, but I have Jasper." Alice's smile was small, but full of love. "Without my visions I wouldn't have him. I think it's a fair trade." She picked up the sketch pad again and her pencil went flying over it.

'_A fair trade. It is a fair trade. I gain happiness by keeping Bella all to myself. Carlisle and Esme stay happy together. I'll have to leave the family when I change her, but at least I'll leave a happy family, not like the one in the vision.' _

What was he taking away by changing the future? It was more than a fair trade. It was a trade that would leave everyone happy.

Alice paused in her drawings.

"Why do you ask? Have you heard any strange thoughts recently?"

"No, nothing too outlandish. I was just wondering about gifts. Ours are already so powerful. The Volturi's gifts must be formidable. If your gift could save thousands than think of what theirs could do. They must have so much influence in the human world." For pulling the words out of the air they rang true. Alice shuttered at Edward's words and sunk into her thoughts, the room falling silent.

* * *

A parking lot, it wasn't the most romantic places for a first meeting between two lovers, but Edward couldn't complain. It was where they met in the vision and by the look of the sun she should be entering Edward's life any second now.

Anticipation kept Edward from standing still. He walked back and forth on the sidewalk. A pet shop, Goodwill, a shoe outlet, and a bookstore were all in the direction she would come running from. Edward could only assume which she was either in the Goodwill or bookstore. He didn't want to leave his post to check. He couldn't risk her passing him by.

The sun was moving too quickly. Bella should have been here by now. His cell phone gears turned and before it could ring Edward had flipped it open and had it to his ear.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to Port Angeles?" Alice's voice chimed through the mike.

"Can't I go looking for CDs without a chaperon?" Edward's bland tone annoyed Alice. "Bye." He snapped the phone shut.

The phone rang again and Edward turned it off.

Bella should have already been here.

'_Not letting Carlisle go to the medical convention had already changed things.'_ The thought both thrilled and scared Edward. The future was not what he saw in the vision, but that meant he didn't know what was coming next.

A scent that was much too appetizing wafted Edward's way. His back went ridged and a smile plastered itself on his face.

The bookstore, it fit Bella's personality perfectly. The little bell on the door tinged as he entered the store and Edward had to calm himself down when her scent thickened. She was here.

Bookshelves upon bookshelves blocked his view, yet he could still pinpoint exactly where Bella was. He restrained himself from going right over to her and instead browsed through the titles. Some he had read, some he hadn't. With a slow motion he made his way to the back of the store, keeping his eyes only on the books.

Electricity built up inside him. Edward could feel the heat radiating off her even though there were a few feet in between them. Bella was sitting in a lumpy armchair with a thick book in hand.

"Nice choice." Edward said glancing at the book in Bella's hand then back to her. Bella peeked over her book and gave Edward the once over.

"You've read?" Bella skimmed her fingers down the page, enjoying the feel of the print.

"No, I just wanted to talk to you." Bella smirked, enjoying the pickup line, while hating it at the same time. She had heard them all.

"Well if you wanted to talk you shouldn't have interrupted a bookworm in her sanctuary." Bella looked back down at her book, waiting for him to make the next move.

Edward shifted on his feet trying to read her. He had seen that look on her face before when she played with people. It had been a look she had given Mike Newton plenty of times, right before she destroyed him ever so subtly. He straightened up.

"For a bookworm your eyes haven't moved across the page once since I started talking to you."

"I tend to be on alert when creepy men approach me."

"Then be on alert with me somewhere else. Let's get coffee." Bella snorted.

"Coffee, in Washington? My, that's an idea." The sarcasm in Bella's voice made him shrug. The way she said it made him feel like an idiot.

"Sorry, that was stupid. That could have only been worse if we were in Seattle."

"Yup." Bella's eyes were back on her book and she was definitely reading this time. She licked her finger and turned the page. There was a minute of silence between them in which Edward had no idea what to say. "If you keep staring at me," she still didn't look up, "I'm going to get embarrassed." Edward chuckled.

"I'm only staring in hopes you'll stare back."

Another lick of the finger, another turn of a page. Bella's eyes finally lifted and Edward gulped.

"Look, I'm trying to read. You're hot, I'm hot, perfect combination right? But I'm reading. I'm not in the mood to talk. So just go away." She sighed. Unpacking all her luggage into her new room had worn her down. "I'm not trying to be rude, but you're being so damn persistent."

Edward's golden eyes darkened. He knew when to back down.

"You're right. I'm being extremely impolite. I'm sorry. Maybe I'll see you around when I can have your full attention." Bella glanced at him feeling remorse.

Edward knew when to back down, but he also knew how to leave the door open for the future.

**Sorry, I have to make things at least a bit challenging. I'm having fun with this story. Writing is like having little action figures that I can play with and have them act out anything that I can think up. **

**Please review. **


	4. Funky Town

Chapter 4: Funky Town

Bella toppled down onto her bed. The drive back to Forks from Port Angeles felt longer than it was supposed to be. Along with unpacking all morning she was all tuckered out.

The plastic bag carrying her new books slid off the bed and to the wooden floor with a loud thud.

"You alright up there, Bella?" Charlie shouted from downstairs.

"Yeah." Bella shouted into her pillow. She sat up suddenly holding her pillow out in front of her. With a slow motion she brought it to her nose and sniffed it.

It smelled sweet, almost like a tangy candy.

'_What the fuck?'_

* * *

If there was one thing Bella was known for that she wished she wasn't, it was her notorious ability to get into accidents that caused her to go to either the nurse's office, the hospital, or at least the nearest first aid kit.

On this specific occasion Bella was particularly annoyed at her ability to get hurt, for she had never gotten injured before in such a stupid way.

"Ah fuck." Bella whispered, examining her wrist. Charlie overheard her, but made no comment.

"The second day back in Forks and you are already getting to know the hospital. I don't know how you do it Bells." Charlie said as he drove the cruiser.

"Either do I, dad." She tightened the dish towel against her wrist as blood seeped through it.

After going through the standard procedures Bella was sitting in a stuffy doctor's office. A light tap on the door echoed throughout the room and Bella murmured a 'come in'. She was still staring at her wrist.

The door opened and the clatter of shuffling papers and footsteps sounded.

"Well it seems you have a rather extensive history of injuries, Ms. Swan. What happened this time?" Bella paused and looked up.

"Oh, Dr. Snow! I haven't seen you since a few summers ago."

"Yes, the fish hook in your back. I remember." The balding doctor laughed. "So how did you hurt your arm?"

"It's just my wrist." Bella chuckled, embarrassment leaking from every pore. "I was at the kitchen table reading and got up to get a glass of milk, still reading." Dr. Snow smirked. "I know bad idea. I was pouring the milk in a cup, still reading mind you. The milk somehow landed on my feet. I started, dropping my book onto the cup of milk spilling even more. I grabbed some paper towels nearly falling because of my wet socks. I dabbed the book, floor and counter dry. Took off my wet socks and went back to reading."

"So how did you get hurt?"

"Fifteen minutes later I walk back into the kitchen to make lunch and slipped on my abandoned wet socks." Dr. Snow sighed.

"Let me see it." Bella held out her arm with a blushing smile. The doctor probed her wrist.

"It doesn't feel broken, but it will need a few stitches and some aspirin wouldn't hurt. You shouldn't use it for the next few days just to be safe." The clinical voice he used calmed Bella down and she nodded.

A half an hour later Bella was back in her house trying to calm Renee down over the phone, her mother was relentless.

* * *

Dr. Cullen sat in the hospital cafeteria swirling a spoon in his coffee cup. He brought it to his lips completely ignoring its horrid taste. He checked his wrist watch and stood, lunch break ending.

He walked down the buzzing halls of the hospital heading towards his next appointment. In mid step he froze.

"Dr. Cullen are you alright?" A passing nurse asked.

"Um, yes, yes I'm just fine." Carlisle's voice was weak. Neither of them moved.

"Maybe you should go home. You don't look so good." Carlisle shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. A fake smile was plastered itself on his face.

"Don't worry about me. I just forgot to fill up the tank in my wife's car. I should probably call her before she goes out." The nurse accepted his excuse and left.

Carlisle walked into the restroom for a moment of silence. He turned the faucet on to its highest temperature and splashed his face. The man in the mirror before him had black eyes. He closed them and when they opened again they were a dark brown.

Carlisle blinked again trying to understand what had just happened. One minute he was walking and then he smelled something. He _smelled something new. _Every scent that had entered his lungs were categorized, bit _this,_ this was new.

It made him salivate venom again, as if his control was that of Jasper's.

It was human. He recognized that now.

Carlisle splashed another handful of steaming water onto his face then dried it off. He straightened his tie, pushed the thoughts out of his head, and went back to work.

* * *

'_Second impressions are just as important as first.' _Edward tried to convince himself as he pulled into the school parking lot.

"What's up with all the nervousness, Edward?" Jasper asked as he exited the car.

"There is a cutter in my first period class." Jasper nodded in understanding. Alice wrapped her arm around him and they walked away. Edward watched their retreating forms. Jasper was getting better at reading Edward's hidden emotions.

The school was full of murmurs about the new student. The thoughts had glimpses of Bella's image in them made waiting for their class together easier. He couldn't decide how he wanted to start their conversation.

Edward's pencil tapped against the lunch table faster than he should have if he was human. It took everything in him not to turn around and look at Bella's lunch table.

'_Anticipation?'_ Jasper thought looking at Edward. Edward cursed his wayward emotions.

"A new CD I want just came out. I heard one of the songs coming out of someone's MP3. I'm eager to hear the rest of the album." Jasper's thoughts didn't reveal if he did or did not believe Edward's excuse.

Alice stilled Edward's tapping. It had increased its pace and humans were starting to take notice. He set the pencil on the table and laced his fingers together like a good school boy.

The bell rang and Edward dumped his tray. The walk to his next class was only interrupted by a stop at his locker. He arrived at class before Bella. He busied himself pretending to do homework instead of staring at the door looking for her.

"It's you." Bella said as she neared his desk. Edward looked up from his 'work' pretending to be surprised. Jessica who was walking beside her was startled and looked between the two of them.

"You know Edward Cullen?" Jessica hissed into Bella's ear. She was taken aback.

"No, we've never met." Bella said in an average voice. She sat beside Edward and Jessica gave her a look that meant 'We'll talk later'. "Well," Bella watched Jessica walk away, "I suppose you got your wish. You have my full attention." Edward smiled brightly.

"I'm lucky. I didn't think I'd ever see you again. I'm Edward." He held out his hand for her.

"Bella." She shook his hand. Edward savored her warmth.

"Well it's pleasant to finally meet you...officially." Bella laughed.

"Ms. Swan just because this is your first day does not mean you can completely ignore my class." Bella turned around with an apologetic look.

"Sorry Mr." She paused trying to remember his last name. It never came to her. Bella turned her attention to the lesson. Edward stared at her throughout the class. "What's up with you and staring?" Bella whispered without taking her eyes off the teacher.

"Sorry, my eyes are drawn to beautiful things." Bella blushed and Edward turned away, saving her from further embarrassment. The bell rang. "Can I walk you to your next class?" Bella glanced at Jessica then back to Edward.

"Sure." She picked up her backpack and winced. Edward quickly took it from her and swung it over his shoulder.

"Are you alright?" Bella rubbed her reddening wrist. Edward took note of the stitches and fear hit him full force.

'_She went to the hospital. Did she see… Did she see Carlisle?'_

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just slipped yesterday. You don't have to carry my bag. I can handle it." Edward shook his head and they walked in the direction of the gymnasium.

They paused in front of the door and Edward handed Bella her bag. A strange look crossed her face, as if someone had just greatly offended her. She scrunched her noise. Something smelled like tangy candy. Her eyes flew up to Edward and widened.

"Were you in my _room_?!?"

**I'm so proud of this chapter.**


	5. Scratching at Scabs

Chapter 5: Scratching at Scabs

"Were you in my _room_?!?" Bella nearly shouted. Everyone in the hallway paused and looked at two of their fellow students.

"What?" Edward stuttered out, suddenly a terrible liar. "I don't even know where you live, Bella; you are being preposterous." A crowd was starting to form. With Bella's good hand she grabbed the hem of Edward's shirt and pulled him towards her. He was startled enough to be moved. The crowd gasped as Bella brought her nose to his shirt and sniffed deeply.

"Oh my freakin' God! You were in my _room_!" She shoved him backwards and Edward fell on his rump. "You fucking stalker! Did you follow me home last Saturday?" The crowd was humming. Bella stared him down and Edward was speechless. With an exasperated "What the fuck?" Bella spun on her heels and into the gym.

The mob of students only dispelled a few minutes later when a teacher started shouting at them for blocking the hallway.

"Well Mr. Cullen," The teacher said in an impatient voice, "don't you have a class to be going to?"

"Actually, Edward was just called home." Alice said holding three forged passes in her hand. Jasper was beside her. "Family emergency. I'm sure you understand." She pulled Edward to his feet. "But don't worry; we will make up any work we miss." Alice pushed him towards the exit of the building while waving at the teacher. When the door closed Alice's happy façade disappeared.

"What the _hell_ was that?" Jasper hissed. "The whole school is talking about you being a perverted stalker or something. What just happened in there?"

"I- I have no idea." Alice and Jasper waited for Edward to continue. He didn't.

"What do you mean 'you have no idea?'!" Jasper said in a mocking tone. Alice pulled Jasper back and he looked at her, calming down. "You don't understand, Alice. It was like an eruption of emotions. People are scared and suspicious of us. Carlisle thinks the werewolves are back. I don't want a confrontation with them." Alice nodded meekly.

"Let's just go home. We'll talk about it later when Carlisle gets back from the hospital." A burst of anger flared inside Edward when Alice mentioned Carlisle. Jasper just stared at him, not understanding what was going on in Edward's head.

Jasper snagged the keys from Edward without any protest and drove them home. Esme was surprised to see them home so early, but didn't comment. Edward went directly to his room, trying to comprehend what just happened.

Bella had _smelled_ him.

_'She smelled me?'_ He went into the bathroom to take a shower, still processing. _'Shit, she smelled me on her bedding.'_ Edward nearly hit his head against the shower's tiled wall. He hadn't even thought of the possibility when he snuck into her house after going to the library. He was distraught and her scent calmed him.

This time Edward did hit his head against the wall.

Everything was going _wrong, wrong, wrong._

He couldn't even start to understand how he fucked things up so royally.

A thought struck him.

_'Her wrist.'_ Edward let out a low oath. Bella had stitches. _'Fucking hospital stitches.'_ He clutched his head between his hands and fell to the floor. _'She had gone to the hospital.'_ He squeezed his head, trying not to think. He'd kill Carlisle if he saw her. Edward wasn't willing to go through all the pain he saw in his vision just for Carlisle.

Edward stood up, turning off the water faucet. He had been in the shower longer than he thought. The sun was only an hour or two away from setting. He put on fresh clothes and sat on his sofa, not bothering to do any of his school work.

He wanted to go to her. He wanted to sit in her rocking chair, surrounded by her scent and tell her everything. But Edward knew that would never work, it would only make things worse.

The front door opened and Edward heard Esme greet Carlisle lovingly.

_'He doesn't deserve Esme's love. Cheating bastard.'_ Edward listened intently to his thoughts. Nothing gave Edward any reassurance or reason to be wary. He stayed on alert as he went downstairs for a family meeting.

Everyone was sitting neatly around the mahogany dinner table like the Brady Bunch. Edward took a seat beside Alice.

"An administrator from the school called," Carlisle began, "she said you caused some sort of racket in the hallway, Edward." The room was silent. "Well, what happened?"

"Some girl flipped out when she saw me, calling me a stalker. I'd never seen her before in my life." Edward snorted, leaning back in his chair nonchalantly.

"That's bullshit. You felt familiar with her." Jasper accused from across the table. "Alice and I heard the whispers. You followed her on Saturday." Edward growled and Carlisle watched the two of them.

"Are you hunting her?" Carlisle's voice broke the tension.

"No, I'm not hunting her! I don't even know her!" The whole family was staring at Edward.

"Nevertheless," Authority was laced in Carlisle's words, "you shouldn't talk to her, just in case." The vase in the middle of the table went hurtling towards Carlisle's head. He leaned to the left and the vase smashed against the wall.

"What has gotten into you, Edward?" Esme stood up and stood behind Carlisle, placing her hands on his shoulders. She was in full mother mode.

"What has gotten into all of you?" Edward shouted. "I haven't done anything wrong. So stop telling me what to do."

"The secret of what we are isn't just yours to keep or protect. We are just trying to keep ourselves safe. This girl who suspects you of something, no matter how outlandish it may be, should be avoided."

"God damn it! Just be quiet, Carlisle." Edward's chair toppled over as he stood to go to his room.

"What is going on with you?" Esme said from downstairs.

Edward didn't pause to answer her. He couldn't deal with them right now. He had to think of a way to set things right with Bella.

**Review**

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	6. Not Hot Enough to Cauterize

Chapter 6: Not Hot Enough to Cauterize

"What the fuck?" Bella spun on her heels and into the gym and away from the crowd that surrounded Edward.

"Hey Bella." Mike slid through the throngs of people towards her. She ignored him and flopped down on the bleachers. Jessica ambushed her.

"What is up with you and Edward?" Jessica's face was red and there was a slight sheen of sweat on her upper lip.

"Absolutely nothing." Bella pulled out homework, paying no mind to the gym teacher.

"Don't give me that bull. You recognized him when we went to physics, you talked to him, and then he walked you to class! He doesn't talk to anyone other than his siblings so he must know you really well to walk you to class." Jessica said all in one breathe. "Then to top it all off that scene just now. I don't even know what to say about that." She mumbled the last part.

"Alright!" Bella dropped her pencil into her textbook and snapped it shut. "I was down in Port Angeles buying books. Edward bothered me while I was trying to read so I shooed him away." Jessica looked appalled at the thought of someone dismissing Edward.

"What about him being a stalker!"

"He was in my room. I could tell. Everyone saw his reaction. That freak was in my room. How fucked up is that?" Jessica nodded with her eyes wide like a puppy dog begging for a treat.

"Ms. Stanley you are not in this class." The teacher shouted from across the gym.

"Sorry coach. I was just showing the new student to her class."

"The bell rang three minutes ago." The coach's voice was monotone. Jessica scurried off to spread the news and to add her own twist to the story.

* * *

Lunch the following day was hectic. People kept poking at Bella trying to get information on the incident yesterday. Before Bella could get halfway through her apple she tossed it in the garbage and retreated to the restrooms.

A short woman with spiky black hair was looking in the only mirror, straightening out her clothes. Bella stood behind her and fluffed her brown locks.

"You should really use mousse. It will make your hair fuller." The short woman said, looking at Bella through her reflection.

"I don't like using hair products, takes too much time in the morning. I'd rather keep my beauty sleep." Bella smiled at her.

"I don't sleep well so I have plenty of time in the morning to play with my hair and makeup."

"I can tell, you look great. I'm Bella."

"Oh, the famous Bella who took down Edward. No wonder I haven't seen you around. I'm Alice." Alice chose to leave out that Edward was her brother. She discreetly took in Bella's scent and could see why Edward would want to hunt her.

"Why does everyone keep pestering me about that?" Bella sighed.

"No one talks to a Cullen and nobody knows anything about them." Alice laughed. "You just blew their image." Bella smirked.

"I just call it like I see it." They continued chit chatting and exchanged numbers when the bell rang.

Bella took her time getting to physics class. Most everyone was already there.

"Excuse me Mr. Banner." Bella said in her most polite voice. He looked up from his grading. "May I have a new assigned seat? My current table mate is not to my liking." Edward put his head down on his desk, not wanting to listen. Banner had heard what happened yesterday, heck everyone heard what happened yesterday.

"I don't see why not, there are plenty of empty seats." Bella chose a table on the opposite side of the classroom than Edward's and a few rows back. A blond boy who looked too small to be a senior was in the seat next to her.

Bella completely ignored the vampire that stared at her throughout the entire class. When the class was dismissed Edward cornered Bella. The students that were still in the room stopped to listen.

"Bella, we got off on the wrong foot. I don't know where you got the idea that I was in your house but I wasn't." Edward's words were so rehearsed that people started doubting Bella's story.

Bella grabbed Edward's chin and pulled him towards her, looking deep into his eyes.

"You're lying. I can see it in your eyes." Edward couldn't move. He felt her breath on his skin. His eyes darkened with lust and she let him go, startled. She started walking away.

"Bella!" Edward shouted after her. She flipped him the bird without turning around and continued walking. He ran after. "Why don't you just trust me?" He asked and Bella increased her pace.

"You've never given me a reason to trust you, only a reason not to ever talk to you." Edward frowned.

"Well how can I gain back your trust?" Bella stopped and leant against a wall beside a water fountain.

"Why do you even care? From what I've heard you don't ever talk to people. So why me? Why now?" Bella felt like she was some sort of sidewalk show. So many people were watching them like aliens.

"Yeah Edward." A tall blond man said. "Why are you talking to random people all of a sudden?" _'Why do you care?'_ Jasper tacked on just for Edward.

"No reason really." Edward said only looking at Jasper. "Just thought I'd be social."

"What about all these other people." Jasper's voice was low as he swept his eyes across the many students in the hall. "I'm sure they wouldn't mind socializing." _'Just listen to Carlisle. You should go up to Denali.' _Edward shook his head discreetly.

Bella looked at the two vampires then slipped past them to get to her class. As she turned the corner she saw Jasper and Edward standing still, not speaking.

* * *

The grocery store had always been a place of comfort to Bella. As a child she had guided her mother around knowing where everything was by memory. Her mother would just follow her around pushing the cart and digging in her purse for a shopping list. By the time Bella's mother found the list the cart would be already filled with items. She'd run through her daughter's list and everything would already be there.

As Bella grew older and could drive she took shopping into her own hands. Every time they moved to a new city the grocery store was the same as the one before it, a safe haven in a new land.

The grocery store in Forks was a bit smaller than the usual, but none the less she liked it. She chose a hand basket instead of a cart; they all had been left outside too many times and were riddled with rust. A small list of items were written on a sticky note and a pen stuck out of her back pocket.

Bella was in the freezer aisle when Carlisle caught her scent.

"Esme, can you get some red wine. It will go nice with tonight's dinner." Esme nodded and walked past a store clerk and to another aisle. Carlisle pushed his screeching cart around, trying to pinpoint the scent.

Rounding a corner he found it, a woman. He couldn't see her through the fogged glass door she held open as she rummaged around for frozen raspberries.

"Damn." She said, pulling out only a bag of mixed berries. The freezer door closed with a dull thud.

'_If there was ever an example of the golden ratio done so beautifully in the human form,'_ Carlisle thought to himself, _'than I have never seen it before her.'_ He pretended to look for something through the glass doors while keeping his eyes on her.

She pulled a pen from her back pocket and crossed something out on a piece of paper. The pen found its way behind her ear, holding her brunette hair back. The paper was placed in the basket as she continued walking.

Her hips swayed gently and the piece of paper in her basket floated to the ground like a snowflake. Carlisle swept over and picked it up.

"Excuse me miss." Carlisle grabbed her shoulder, halting her. She turned around. Carlisle's hand dropped, brushing the length of her arm. Her eyes met his. "You dropped this." He held up the sticky note. She didn't move her eyes from Carlisle's.

The clattering of bottles sounded taking Bella's eyes in another direction. Esme had plopped down two expensive bottles of wine into the cart. She spotted Esme's lovely complexion and wedding ring simultaneously.

"Thanks." Bella snatched the paper from his hands and headed in the direction of the checkout lines.

**I'm going to let you all stew on the ending of this chapter. Please review.**


	7. A Moment

Chapter 7: A Moment

Arguments were a constant in the Cullen household, so much so that everyone dreaded going home. Carlisle spent more time at the hospital. Jasper and Alice were alone together more than usual. Esme found herself hunting further away than necessary and Edward avoided everyone in general. He had a reason to though; he was the cause of the arguments.

In one way or another Edward continued pursuing Bella against the wishes of his family. Jasper once caught him outside her window as she slept. Jasper thought Edward was about to kill her and had attacked him. Edward couldn't correct his assumption. It would complicate things and make things even worse.

During the school day Edward talked to Bella trying to redeem himself. It never seemed to help. Her mind was already made and thoughts elsewhere. Edward hadn't given up hope though; he felt a change in his luck was sure to come sooner than later.

The news that Alice was Edward's sister didn't go over well for Bella. She had spent weeks texting Alice and was annoyed she never told her till then. Alice wanted to protect the human and thought that keeping Bella close would help. Alice didn't actually think she would become friends with her, but she did.

Their friendship only fueled the arguments. Everyone wanted Edward to leave Bella alone, but he didn't. Carlisle had even threatened moving the whole family. Edward told them to move, he'd stay.

Carlisle didn't know that the woman at the grocery store was Bella. He tried not to think of her, but she weeded her way into his thoughts randomly. Every time she appeared in his head he was startled, yet warmed.

"I don't know, Alice." Bella sighed over the phone.

"Oh come on. Edward won't be home all day. I really want you to see my house."

"It would just be," Bella tried to find the right word, "weird. You know what I mean?"

"Nope, I don't know what you mean." The sound of a motor was heard through the phone. "I'm on my way over to your house anyways."

"You're a very pushy person."

"I have to be. We wouldn't be friends if I wasn't pushy." Bella mulled over Alice's words.

"You're right, but that isn't your fault. It's your brother's. Guilty by association and such."

A few minutes later Alice was sitting in Bella's driveway, honking the horn for no reason at all.

"Where is your brother by the way?"

"Jasper and Edward went to Seattle to buy some new camping equipment." _Hunting._ "Are you going on the senior class trip?"

"The hot spring? I'm considering it. You?"

"Nope, I don't like how they smell." Alice scrunched her nose.

"You're so weird." Alice shrugged as she pulled into her driveway.

Bella gawked at the house.

"My mom designed it."

"Nifty."

Bella and Alice headed straight for her room, talking of inconsequential things. An hour passed and they ventured downstairs for Bella to eat. She was fixing herself a sandwich when Carlisle entered his home. He instantly caught her scent.

With steps that were silent to even Alice he walked to the entrance of the kitchen, observing the scene in front of him. The woman was putting food together while Alice flitted around the kitchen, cleaning. It looked very domestic. He watched until Alice noticed him.

"Hey dad," Alice chirped, "This is _Bella_." Carlisle didn't let the surprise show on his face.

'_This is the woman Edward has been hunting?'_ He suddenly felt very protective of her.

Bella turned around and recognized him immediately.

"Mr. Grocery Store. It's nice to see you again." Bella set down her plate and smiled widely. Carlisle snorted.

"You can just call me Carlisle, and it is nice to see you again too." He leant against the door frame looking perfectly at ease. The position made him look younger.

"I prefer Mr. Grocery Store. I didn't know you were Alice's father. I expected you to be older." Alice looked between them feeling out of place.

"I'm older than I look." Carlisle smoothed his hair down and squeezed the back of his neck in a new founded embarrassment.

"Bella we should get upstairs. I have a present for you." Alice picked up Bella's plate and pulled her along. Bella's shoulder brushed Carlisle's as she passed him. She looked back and caught him staring.

**Here's a short chapter to hold ya over until I can catch some free time. Review. **


	8. Back to Her Roots

Chapter 8: Back to Her Roots

"We do not condone nudity." The teacher said sharply to the snickering seniors. "You are to be back to here no later than nine tonight. The bus leaves at ten. If you aren't here you're going to get left behind." The small rucksack on Bella's back seemed to weigh more as the teacher droned on. "It's about a two and a half mile hike, just follow the trail markings." The student's started to disburse, some heading to the lavatories to change while others started on the trail.

"Hey Angela," Bella whispered into her companion's ear, "I'll race ya to the hot springs. If you win I'll do whatever dare you want me to do, but if I win we skinny dip." Bella dashed off.

"Oh come one Bella! I never agreed!" Bella didn't respond and continued running. Angela huffed than ran after her, knowing she couldn't make up the distance between them. "I hope you know you're an ass!"

The smell of sulfur assaulted their noses after a few minutes of running.

"Fuck!"Bella shouted as she tripped over a root and tumbled to the ground. Angela ran to her side, helping her up.

"Are you alright?" She panted.

"No worries, Angie, just a flesh wound." Bella held out her bleeding hand and sucked on the small gash. It started sprinkling and they walked the rest of the way. "It's beautiful."

Various pools of steaming water caught the early morning light causing an almost haunting effect. Bella and Angela stripped down to their swimsuits and chose a smaller spring in a more secluded area.

Angela wore a peach colored two piece with pink and red flowers while Bella had a purple bikini and a long silver chain that disappeared in between her cleavage.

Students along with visitors trickled into the oasis. With a small splash Ben and Jessica joined Bella and Angela's pool. Ben immediately gravitated to Angela's side.

"I wish the Cullens had come on the trip." Jessica complained, flicking water.

"I wouldn't be here if they did." Bella responded, her eyes shut and submerged up to her chin. "I hate how Edward watches me all the time. It sends shivers down my back." At the thought of it Bella shivered than dunked under the hot water. Of course, it didn't help that the eyes of a vampire were actually staring at her. Jessica glared at Bella.

"Still, if they were here at least I'd have something nice to stare at." Jessica's comment was punctuated with a large splash that made Bella breathe in some of the water.

"Am I not sexy enough for you, Jessica?" Mike said, flexing his biceps as Bella coughed up water. Jessica giggled. "So, who wants to go skinny dipping?" Bella stood up.

"This pool is getting too crowded. I'll talk to you guys later." Bella grabbed her bag and joined an elderly woman in another pool. The vampire's eyes followed her every movement, Bella's hand was still bleeding. The old woman nodded and smiled at Bella as they both fell silent, just enjoying the water and the pitter patter of the rain.

Around lunchtime Bella sat with Tyler, Angela, and Ben around a picnic table as they ate their homemade lunches.

"I squished my PB&J, anyone wanna trade?" Tyler asked. He held the sandwich up showing them all. Everyone shook their heads no and Tyler frowned. Angela threw the crumbs of her food and napkin in the trash then turned to Bella.

"I'm heading back to the cabins to use the bathroom, come with me Bella?" Bella nodded and slid into a pair of shorts and trainers.

"Don't touch my food, Tyler." Tyler stuck his tongue out at Bella's retreating form.

"So…" Angela started as they walked a trailer, the vampire following from a distance.

"So…" Bella continued when she didn't continue.

"Ben and I. . ." Angela paused again, blushing.

"Ben and you…?" Bella smirked.

"Did it." Angela squeaked out. Bella engulfed her friend in a hug.

"You used protection right?" Angela nodded. "Oh, you're a woman, Angie." Angela grew redder. "So…"

"So…?" Angela raised an eyebrow at Bella as they continued walking.

"How was he?" Angela shoved Bella and they were silent until they reached the restrooms. As Bella washed her hands Angela's cell went off. She rolled her eyes and mouthed the word mom. Bella waited for her, but Angela waved her off.

Bella slowly walked down the trail, humming to herself and hoping her food was untouched. A shiver assaulted her, and it wasn't from the rain. She picked up her speed and stopped humming. With a quick movement she spun around, but no one was there. Her instincts were screaming for her to run, but Bella kept her pace, feeling silly. A breeze blew and Bella lost it. She broke into a full fledged sprint.

There was no noise of footsteps following her or breaking branches, but Bella still ran. She could _feel_ someone watching her, following her every move. She chanced a look backwards and in that same moment her foot caught the small protruding root from before.

Bella gasped as she hit the ground. Her whole body curled up into its' self and her hand went to the side of her neck. Tears escaped her as she let out a strangled sob. She removed her hand to see it covered with blood.

"Bella! Bella! Bella!" Edward appeared in her hazy vision. She reached up to touch his face and smeared blood across his jaw. Edward gripped her neck as blood gushed out of her jugular. His eyes were pitch black and his control was slipping. "God, Bella please no!"

Edward heard humans approaching and picked up Bella, running with her into the forest. His hands ghosted over her as he set her on moss. His mind was going a mile a minute before he bit down onto her wound. He greedily lapped up her blood. As her heartbeat slowed he let his venom seep into her.

**Hey I'm going through a few emotional problems and all the school work isn't helping so my updates are going to slow a bit. Please review. **


	9. A Riddle

Chapter 9: A Riddle

If Bella is in the middle of the forest and screaming, and Edward is the only one there to hear it, who is in more pain?

In that moment it was Bella. The venom was burning every inch of her. With every capillary it filled the pain increased tenfold.

Edward sat against a tree, his knees to his chest and eyes shut painfully.

Bella thrashed around shrieking and panting as her heart slowed to a snail's pace. Her whole body was convulsing.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Edward chanted. All movement stopped and the forest was silent. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Bella laid on the ground motionless. Edward peeked through his hands. With a swift movement she sat up, her back stiff as a board.

"Wha-" Bella paused, surprised. Her voice was different, smoother, and a little higher. "What the hell did you do to me?" Her eyes flashed dangerously, the red pulsing. Edward looked at her agape, stunned by her voice and beauty. She swooped towards him and grabbed his neck in a death grip. "What did you do to me?!?" Edward's trachea started cracking under her clutch. She jumped backwards as a sob swept through her. "It hurt so much." Bella whispered.

"Bella, I'm sorry. You were dying and I had to do something." Edward crawled over to her side.

"So you set me on fire?" Bella hissed and pushed him away. Her hand went up to her neck where Edward had bitten her. "What did you do to me?" Edward inched his way back to her. "Get the fuck away from me!" Bella jumped up and started running.

"Shit! Bella, wait!" Edward took off after her. They weaved through the trees knocking over more than one. They were nearly the same speed, but Bella was just a step or two quicker. Bella plowed through a boulder, slowing her down. Edward tackled her to the ground. "Bella! Bella! Just listen to me please." Bella struggled against his hold.

"Get off of me!" Her knee met his groin with a startling force.

"Fucking Christ!" Edward shouted as he held himself and curled into the fetal position. Bella kicked him in the gut twice before trying to make her escape again. He grabbed her ankle sending her sprawling. She twisted out of his grip and broke his nose with the heel of her foot. Venom seeped out of the gash on his nose and blurred his vision. He could faintly see Bella's retreating form.

A minute later Edward found the strength to stand. Bella's scent trail was already starting to fade with the rain. His feet didn't seem to move fast enough. Every tree he passed was just like the last. Curse words ran through his head as he degraded himself further and further. He just couldn't catch up with her.

The rain quickened and the scent grew fainter. Panic was overcoming his every sense.

"Damn it!" His fist smashed through the trunk of a tree. Her scent was gone. He kept running though.

'_God, I've got to find her. I've got to get her before she smells any humans, before she is out of my reach, before Carlisle-'_

A sound rather similar to thunder erupted as a hard body collided with Edward's. Tiny fists rained down on him.

"You killed her! You killed her, you son of a bitch. She was my one friend outside of the family and you killed her!" Alice's fists only hit harder as she dry sobbed. She was lifted off of him, kicking and screaming. "Damn it Jazz, let me down!" Jasper pulled her in a tight hug, engulfing her in a calm blanket.

Two pairs of feet ran rhythmically towards them until they reached their destination, Edward. His family encircled him.

"I-I didn't kill Bella." Edward whispered, his eyes darting from one family member to the next.

"Bullshit, Edward." Alice pushed herself out of Jasper's arm and onto the ground. "Your eyes are red you dipshit!" Edward stood up.

"I didn't kill her, damn it, I changed her!" All that could be heard for a long moment was an onslaught of rain before all hell broke loose.

"Stop lying to me." Alice's voice was low. "I can't _see _her. She's dead. Just admit it. You've been after her blood since day one. Her blood is still on your shirt."

"I didn't kill Bella! I changed-" A tightly wound fist collided with Edward's jaw sending him flying into Jasper, knocking them both down. Carlisle stood over him, eyes blacker than night, a puzzling fury flowing from an unknown place.

Esme's pulled at Carlisle's wrist that was still in the air. He didn't budge an inch. Jasper pushed Edward off of him and quickly stood up. Edward was slower at the task. When he found his footing once again he was sent soaring backwards.

"Carlisle, stop it." Esme pleaded. He ignored her. Another punch was landed on Edward's stomach, followed by another, then another, another. Jasper tried to pull him back, but Carlisle's rage was too much for Jasper to even tame.

Edward tried pushing him back, but all his hits seemed ineffective. Esme grabbed one of Carlisle's arms while Jasper tried for the other. He shook Esme off and pulled Edward up by his throat. A growl escaped him as he looked into the red eyes.

"I never," Carlisle began as his hands tightened around Edward's neck, collapsing the airway, "I never want to see you again." He dropped him to the ground.

"Carlisle…" Esme's voice trembled. Carlisle held up his hand, silencing her. He eyed each member of his family before landing on Edward again. A snarl ripped through him and Edward looked up at him wide eyed.

"I'm going home. Follow me if you like." Carlisle stated simply to everyone but Edward. Anger was still marring his every thought.

Esme's hands ghosted over Edward's crumpled mass as she fretted over his well being. Her eyes kept switching between Edward and Carlisle. She stood and ran over to Carlisle.

"That was too harsh, Carlisle. Come back over here. We need to talk this out and start making a plan on how we are going to explain Edward's absents. The Denali-"

"Hush, Esme." Shock ran through the group. "I don't care what you do with _that thing_," He glared at Edward, "as long as I never have to see him again. So just keep it to yourself." Carlisle turned on his heels and continued walking away from the frozen vampires behind him. Soon after, Alice moved. She looked at Edward just shaking her head then turned to follow her coven.

"Carlisle, wait no!" Esme ran after him.

Jasper opened his mouth only to promptly close it. He tried again but no words came out. After a moment of contemplation he spoke.

"You know where to find me, brother. If you need help getting back on our diet just call me and we can meet up in Denali. Do you have your cell?" Edward fished in his pockets and pulled out the remains of the device. Jasper tossed him his own. "I'll use Alice's phone. I'll try to talk to Carlisle. I don't know what's up with him, but I'm sure he will cool down sooner than later." Edward looked up at Jasper dumbly. Jasper clapped his hand on to Edward's shoulder before turning around and running after his wife.

**Review…**


	10. All the Little Pieces

Chapter 10: All the Little Pieces

The door to Carlisle's study slammed shut with too much force. The whole house shook. He paced from one side of the room to the other. A crash sounded as he threw a bookcase to the ground. He grabbed a new leather chair and chucked it through the wall.

"What are you doing!?!" Esme shouted as she pulled the door open. Her eyes were wide as she took in her husband's appearance. It was the first time she had ever truly been scared of him. His hair was wild, clothes ripped, and eyes pitch black. He looked wild and raw. Carlisle shoved his desk. It went flying through the wall and onto the lawn below, smashing. "Carlisle, stop it! What has gotten into you?" He didn't seem to hear her as he threw another chair out of the house. "I don't know why you're so angry. Edward didn't mean to kill that girl." Her words only seemed to add fuel to the fire. "It was just a slip up."

"You need to calm down, Carlisle." Jasper said from the doorway, Alice beside him. When he didn't respond Jasper sent out soothing waves of tranquility. Carlisle fell to the ground slowly, leaning against the wall. No one moved for a solid minute, until Carlisle suddenly broke down. Jasper gaped as Carlisle cried. Esme zoomed to his side and kneeled.

"What's wrong?" Esme crooned as she ran her fingers through Carlisle's hair. He froze under her touch and Jasper cringed at all the emotions Carlisle was putting off.

"I don't know what's wrong, just, just please don't touch me, Esme" She halted her ministration. Her fingers twitched between his golden locks. Carlisle growled lowly and Esme pulled her hand back and cupped it as if it had been burned.

"Wha-what?" She stuttered. Carlisle's eyes were glazed over as he looked at the opposite wall, wordlessly. "Carlisle?" He didn't respond to her whispers.

* * *

Rain was a common factor. It was beating down on the Cullen household, the only noise permeating it. Alice sat in Jasper's lap as he worked out the finer details of why Edward was still missing from high school. Esme was plastering the walls in Carlisle's office while he was working mindlessly at the hospital.

Rain pelted down on Edward as he tried to catch any scent of Bella. A single footprint in the mud had sparked his hope, but it was quickly dying again. A week of searching and all he came up with was a single footprint and a few drained bodies.

Guilt and fear plagued his soul. He was so scared that he wouldn't catch her, that the blood would take her over, and that she would hate him more when she figured out what he turned her into.

The guilt was worse though. He had taken her soul. Edward let his selfishness take over and now she was without the one thing that was irreplaceable.

The rain turned into a drizzle over Edward's head almost at the same moment it quickened over Bella's head, three states over.

Her red eyes looked to the sky, amazed by her enhanced eyesight as a limp body fell out of her hands. In that brief moment of clarity when the thirst wasn't gnawing at her sanity anguish enveloped her. Lives had ended by her hands and Bella didn't know what to make of it. Her mind did not want to acknowledge her sins, but when it was clear the thoughts came.

'_Vampire, vampire, vampire.' _Her body convulsed. Bella didn't know what to do. She was a murderer and could never go home because of it. Too much blood was on her hands already, she couldn't stand to see Charlie's blood there as well.

The burn was going to return again. Bella knew that from experience. She ran, away from civilization and her thoughts.

* * *

Human blood covered Carlisle's hands. He looked at the dead body in front of him with a blank stare.

"Time of death, 18:09." The doctor beside Carlisle called out. Carlisle walked to the sink and watched the blood run down the drain. "You seem a bit out of it, Carlisle. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I think I'm just coming down with a cold." Carlisle continued washing his hands, eyes downcast.

"You do look a bit pale." Carlisle snorted loudly, scraping the blood from under his fingernails. His colleague looked at him strange. "Maybe you should head home early."

"I'd rather stay here a bit longer." He shut off the faucet.

"You've already pulled a double shift. You'll be a liability to the hospital if you work any longer." Carlisle was silent as he dried his hands.

"I'll clock out then. I need to pick up some groceries anyway." Carlisle flinched when he realized what he said. Dr. Andrews nodded and left.

'_Mr. Grocery Store' _He let out a humorless chuckle.

This woman, this _human_ was messing with his mind. She wouldn't get out of his thoughts.

'_Bella'_

The mere thought of her name made him hurt in a strange way, and then there was Edward.

Fury rushed through Carlisle. He didn't understand it. Edward had various slip ups, but none of them had affected him like this. A tendril of guilt went to his heart. Everyone in his family kept saying he was overreacting, but every time he thought back on it anger snuffed out his guilt.

In his mind Edward deserved worse than banishment. Carlisle's self-restraint was the only thing that kept him from killing Edward.

Carlisle didn't know where all the anger and hatred was coming from. He sat in the hospital parking lot for an hour, just thinking, but he didn't come up with anything.

The engine purred to life and he drove home at a slow pace, a few cars passing him on his way.

The house was silent as he walked through the front door. Esme was sitting on the stairs, her hands clasped tightly.

"Where is Alice and Jasper?" Carlisle asked as he sat his briefcase down.

"Jasper went hunting and Alice went to go pick up Rosalie and Emmett." Esme was watching Carlisle carefully.

"Rose and Emmett are coming home?"

"Yes, when they heard what happened…" Carlisle nodded and shifted awkwardly on his feet. "Carlisle," he looked Esme in the eyes for the first time since he got home, "are we, are we going to be alright."

Carlisle breath halted when he saw the sorrow in her eyes. He quickly walked to her side and cupped her face in his hands. There was a strained smile on his face.

"Everything, Esme, _everything_ is going to be alright." Esme's eyes light up, she let out a relieved sigh and threw her arms around him.

Carlisle let out a sigh of his own and rubbed her back, not believing his own words.

**Read my other stories. Some have over 500 reviews. Speaking of which add some reviews to this story. **


	11. Burn in Hell, Moth

Chapter 11: Burn in Hell, Moth

Three years of searching.

Three years of watching one's family devolve into despair.

Three years of avoiding one's wife because of mixed feelings.

Three years of nothing but the taste of blood.

Three years should be nothing to a vampire, but to these eight it meant everything. Their worlds changed.

And so had one of these vampire's morals.

Killing made one a bit desensitized towards death and with that lack of guilt one or two ethics go down the drain. Blood lust, instinct, and raw emotions were the only things that were in control of Bella.

* * *

The taste of blood was fresh on Bella's lips. Her eyes flashed red as she switched clothes with her latest victim. A plain green v-neck shirt and sweatpants adorned her instead of the mud splattered drab she once wore.

She had gained an ounce or two of control. She no longer let a drop of blood go to waste, let alone allow it spill on her victim's clothes.

The air was crisp as she ran, always running. The one time she stopped two years ago Edward had found her, but she was quick. Trees flew past her as she jumped a creek.

A sweet scent stopped Bella in her tracks. She had only smelled a scent similar to this one twice. Once when Edward tackled her to the ground and the second was her own thick scent.

She was about hightail it out of there when another scent mixed with it. She could taste it on her tongue, blood, and lots of it.

She ran to the beauty of it, just a moth to the flames.

White limbs, lots of white limbs, all tangled together. Ten dead humans were to the side of the moving, moaning, mass of vampires. Bella's newborn mind stopped, her raw emotions taking over.

One yelled out in pleasure and Bella's breathe hitched. She backed up into a tree, her back arching with lust. Her nails dug into the bark, cracking it.

A lone female heard her. Her head popped up, making her black hair bounce. She started pulling away from the group, but a blond man grabbed her arm. She kissed him roughly and he let her go.

The vampire walked forward lithely in all her naked glory, freezing Bella in her place. In a gentle motion she stroked Bella's cheek. Her hand continued to travel downwards until she met the valley between Bella's breasts. Their eyes locked and the woman tore Bella's shirt.

She pulled Bella to the mass, their eyes still locked. More hands were felt on Bella's skin as her lust erupted tenfold. The feeling was so good.

"Blood and sex, such a nice mixture." The woman whispered to Bella before a man captured her lips.

So many hands, groping, stroking, pulling, caressing, everything. Bella pulled a man by the nape of his neck towards her, their lips connecting. She was tingling all over. A whimper of satisfaction escaped her as he put himself in her.

Red eyes reflected in her own. None questioned her arrival, only welcomed it. Someone hugged her from behind, feeling her every curve. She rocked her hips against the nameless man. He felt so good.

A speck of blood caught her eye and she licked it off of someone.

Everything was just too good. It felt too good, the taste, smell, everyone was beautiful, the moans were a symphony, and it was all too much. It was the first time the thirst stayed away.

* * *

Someone was tracing the contours of Bella's back as she laid on her stomach, propped up on her elbows. Her eyes were on the woman with the black hair that pulled her into the orgy. She was sitting in the lap of a blond as he whispered into her ear.

"Who are you people?" Bella whispered. Someone pulled on her shoulder, flipping her over. A strawberry blond hovered over her, the tendrils of her hair tickling Bella.

"We're the same as you." Her tone was teasing.

"Take pity on her, Donna. I don't think she's ever met one of her own kind." The woman with the black hair said as she crawled over to Bella. "I'm sure you've figured out by now that you're a vampire." Bella nodded, still on her back.

"What I mean is what are you all doing out here?"

"Having sex." Bella rolled her eyes. "How long have you been a vampire?"

"I'm not sure. Everything is so blurry, three or four years."

"Oh a newborn!" A female voice said from a few feet away. Bella didn't bother to look to see who said it.

"Then you should already know that the only things that bring us pleasure are blood and sex." The woman with the black hair said as the blond man from before pulled her over to him again.

"There has to be more than just that." Bella said sitting up. She looked around her. Most of the nine vampires around her were coupled up; only three seemed to have no respective partner.

"Of course there is more." The woman said, once again pushing her mate off herself. "There are wars over blood, travelling as a nomad, and the Volturi. All bad things."

"The Volturi?"

"Strong vampires who keep order. As long as no human knows you're a vampire than you should never see them, hopefully."

"Ah, so is this some sort of coven, or something?" A few of the vampires around them chuckled.

"No, this is sort of a chance meeting. Only a few of us are in covens. I'm a nomad that travels with my mates." She pointed to a pair of couples. "They are a coven," her eyes switched to the three vampires with no mates, "and they are a separate coven."

"How is that a chance meeting?" Rain started drizzling down slowly, washing the mud off of them all.

"Donna's coven was all having sex when Peter and I ran into them and joined. By the way what is your name? I'm Charlotte." The woman stuck out her hand in what seemed a funny gesture considering what they all had just done. Bella took her hand none the less.

"I'm Bella, pleasure to meet you." Bella grinned at the word pleasure and in that moment Charlotte decided she liked Bella. "How did you all get involved?" Bella asked the three vampires without mates.

"I smelled the scent of an old friend and decided to join in." A male with various scars said. Bella looked around. The only other one with more than two or three scars was Peter.

"This is the first time I've ever ran into other vampires in my lifetime. Isn't that a bit unlikely to happen, I mean three separate groups of vampires meeting all of the sudden." Bella looked at the pile of drained corpses. There were quite a few of them.

"All of a sudden?" Peter laughed. "We've been here for more than a month just fucking and sucking."

**I wasn't really sure where I should end this chapter. **


	12. Inconclusive Thoughts

Chapter 12: Inconclusive Thoughts

Four vampires were out gathering humans for a feast. Peter and the other male with various scars covering him were chatting about the wars in the south. A couple were playing some form of hide and seek with sparring mixed in at the same time. Bella was curled up into Charlotte's side in a faux sleep. Charlotte was running her fingers through Bella's hair as she stared at the stars.

Bella didn't know how she felt about everyone just walking around naked. It made sense, but at the same time it was a bit strange.

"Donna wants her coven to leave soon. She thinks that vampires of this number meeting for this long is dangerous, that the Volturi will come to investigate." Peter said with a chuckle.

"She knows nothing. The Volturi have more important things to do." The vampire opposite Peter said. Bella turned her head to look at the talking pair.

"Let them leave. We have all we need here." Peter looked at Charlotte then flashed around the rest of the group quickly.

"Agreed." The other vampire said. His eyes landed on Bella. She arched her brow at him questioningly. "You're my favorite." Bella rolled her eyes than snorted, turning back into Charlotte's side. Peter smacked his friend on the back of his head in a teasing manner.

"You're a smooth one, Caesar." Charlotte said as she stood and walked over to Peter. "Still we should leave soon, just to be careful." Peter stared at his mate then nodded.

"I just know what I want." Caesar said and Bella flipped him the bird.

"I know what I want too, and it's not you." Bella bit her lip then grinned evilly. "Brunettes don't really do it for me." A picture of Carlisle popped into her mind, a dirty picture. Her hand traveled down her abdomen. "I like my men blond." She started teasing her clit, imagining it was Carlisle touching her. Her eyes slid shut as she let the image take over. Bella's fingers moved faster and she could feel eyes on her.

A hand ghosted over her breast and Bella arched into the touch. The hand left and moments later two fingers were thrust into her. With every thrust she got closer until she finally came. The name Carlisle formed on her lips, but she didn't say it.

Slowly Bella's eyelids fluttered open. Caesar was sitting between her legs with a cocky grin on his face. Bella lifted her foot slowly and pushed Caesar's chin upwards, as if examining him. She tilted her head in thought. Her foot slowly skimmed downwards his chest, his excitement evident.

Bella smirked then kicked him across the clearing, knocking down a tree.

* * *

Carlisle turned his head ever so slightly so that Esme's kiss landed on his cheek instead of his lips. Esme stepped away from him wordlessly. It was sad that she was actually used to this sort of behavior. They exchanged strained smiles.

Alice watched the pair carefully and Jasper squeezed her hand.

The Cullen household was constantly on edge. Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper were always trying to go on small vacations with their respective partner, trying to get away from all the stress. When one couple was gone Carlisle constantly made up excuses for the other to stay.

Carlisle made sure he was never alone with Esme. Every caress she initiated he dodged with little finesse.

Esme sat across from Carlisle in the living room, her eyes shaded by her bangs. She hated the way Carlisle was acting.

_'So distant since Edward's been gone.' _The thoughts grew louder with every day she went untouched. _'Since he was without his firstborn.' _Esme tried to look at the situation from Carlisle's point of view, if her own child kept disappointing her- _'My own child-'_ an old sorrow surfaced before Esme pushed it away to the back of her mind.

She could never blame Edward though. He had just made one too many mistakes.

_'Carlisle could only take so much from him.' _Esme reasoned with herself. Carlisle was still so angry when Edward's name was ever mentioned. _'He should have cooled down by now…' _

She glanced up at Carlisle. He was reading a newspaper, his hands clenched, almost ripping it. A hard line was on his brow, it was always there nowadays. She reached across the table, placing her hand on his fist. He flinched, tearing the paper.

"Yes, Esme?" Carlisle said after a moment of silence.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go on a hunt with me." Carlisle looked around the room discreetly. Jasper and Alice had gone hunting yesterday and Rosalie and Emmett were out of the house.

"No thank you, I'm fine. I went hunting while you were out yesterday." It was a lie and they both knew it.

He was so distant, cold even. She hated it, but she could never hate him. Love, lust, and all the other things that made up a sound marriage still swirled around in her heart for him.

"I know, but I'd like you to accompany me while _I_ hunt." Carlisle shifted in his seat trying to think of an excuse. "_Please,_ Carlisle."

Esme's foot slid up and down Carlisle's inner leg. His back went stiff and he hid behind his newspaper. Her foot inched higher until it was rubbing back and forth against his erection.

"I'm sorry, Esme I have a stack of paperwork to do. Frolicking in the forest is just simply out of the question today." Esme froze before she moved her foot off his lap.

Alice stood and grabbed Esme's hand, pulling her upstairs. Alice opened her mouth to speak, but Esme shook her head before she could.

"Thank you, Alice." Esme placed a kiss on her cheek before heading upstairs to distract her mind with a book.

* * *

Scouring the world inch by inch was a bit redundant. It was tiring and gave way to hopelessness. Long hours of seeing most everything except for the one thing you're looking for can wear on one's soul. It can makes everything look just a tad bleaker, but when the person searching finds even the slightest hint of their target they light up.

Hope rekindled is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

That spark of hope was suddenly burning in Edward as he picked up Bella's scent, and it was strong.

**Idk how if feel about this chapter. I'm grossed out by Bella and this other guy, I love being mean to Esme, and the last part reminds me of some sort of essay. Review please.  
**


	13. Yellow? Red? Blue?

Chapter 13: Follow the Yellow, Red, or Blue Brick Road?

Edward breathed in her scent like he was snorting coke. She smelled so potent, so close. Her scent trail was so evident to him.

Time didn't make sense as he followed her lush aroma. It was neither day nor night as he ran, just a grey blur spotted with green trees.

Her scent was suddenly mixed and blended with others. It put him on edge, especially when the smell of soot filled the air.

A clearing broke through the smudge of gray and green. It was where the scent was at its strongest. The ground was trampled down and a tree was knocked over. Claw marks were in the mud and a pile of ashes to the side of the clearing made Edward seize up in fear.

He knelt down, running his fingers through the ashes then to his nose. It was the remains of a cremation, a _human_ cremation. He grabbed his chest, feeling his panic wane.

There were many scent trails stemming from the little clearing, but only four had Bella's scent mixed in them. The first was the one that led him to the clearing and the other three were all heading in different directions. One was fainter than the others so he ruled it out.

A slight breeze came in from the east scattering the scents ever so slightly. Edward had to make a decision. The path to the left or the one to the right, a fifty fifty chance that would mean everything. The wind picked up.

Whichever trail he took the other would be lost to the wind. He leaned to the left then to the right.

* * *

On the other side of the country Alice had two visions, one where Edward ran into a small coven and another where everything was blank. The visions kept switching as she tried to hone in. Finally it stopped on the small coven. A ball of nervous energy in her stomach disbursed.

"What'd you see?" Jasper whispered over the murmuring of the television.

"I think," she paused, "I think Edward almost died. He kept disappearing in my visions, but now it's clear. He's going to attack a whole coven." Her last sentence came out as a sob. Jasper turned off the TV and looked straight into her eyes, trying to calm her.

"Where is he, Alice?"

"I don't know. It's just a normal forest, nothing to distinguish it." Alice closed her eyes and tried to see. "It's overcast, normal shrubbery, some of the land he's going to pass a few small marshes-" She gasped. "A panther? No, the ears are different." Her eyes popped open. "A black bobcat, are there even black bobcats?"

Jasper stood up and grabbed his laptop. His fingers glided over the keys.

"Apparently there are, and they're very rare, mostly only found in Florida." Jasper started booking tickets as Alice flew downstairs. She knocked on Emmett's and Rosalie's door. There was a scuffling noise as they picked up their clothing before they opened their door.

"I think Edward was almost killed. We're going to Florida just to make sure he is alright." Emmett nodded before closing the door. Emmett was trying to convince Rosalie to stay behind. It worked.

Three tickets.

Esme was in the kitchen. Alice pulled out her cell as she made her way there.

"Carlisle, we have a situation. Edward is in danger." By this time Alice was in the kitchen looking into Esme's eyes as she spoke. "He almost died. We're going to Florida to check on him." Esme's mother instinct was in full swing by now.

"He's a big boy, Alice. He can take care of himself."Carlisle's voice was mocking.

"Whatever little beef you have with Edward needs to be set aside. His _life_ is in jeopardy." On the other end of the line Carlisle snorted and hung up the phone.

Four tickets and four Cullens were driving to the airport.

Carlisle was still holding the cell phone in his hand after he pushed the off button. It fell on his desk cracking the screen. He sighed and rested his head in his hands, not quite ready to go back to work yet.

* * *

The wind was picking up, but Edward could still smell the faint trail.

Soft thoughts reached him and they slowly grew louder as he neared the end the source of the scent. Four minds pushed into his own.

They stopped when they heard his rushed footsteps coming towards them. His face crumbled when he saw them, none of them were Bella.

No one in the coven looked the least bit wary of the new arrival. Most of them were curious of his eye color. A strawberry blond stepped forward, seemingly the coven leader.

"What is wrong with your eyes?"

"I only drink from animals." One of them gasped while the other three just nodded their heads.

"I can't believe Peter wasn't bluffing." The coven leader laughed, degrading Edward in her head. "Well what are you doing following us?"

"Looking for my mate; I can smell her on all of you." Edward repressed a growl. There was no sense in angering a coven. "Her name is Bella."

Several things happened almost all at once. A male thought of Bella beneath him moaning and groaning in pleasure, Edward attacked him, and the rest of the coven pulled him, pinning him down.

Edward struggled against their combined strength. The male Edward hit kicked him in the jaw, stopping his thrashing.

"How uncouth! What was that all about?" Edward had to force himself to stop growling so that he could answer.

"He touched my Bella." The coven leader stared at Edward for a moment without any thoughts running through her head before she busted out laughing.

"Dear boy we all touched her, the same way she touched us." Images of Bella naked with a look of ecstasy were thought by all. Edward tried shoving them off, but it didn't help. "How did you know Kenneth touched our dear friend, Bella?"

"I saw it in his mind." The woman nodded.

"Pretty little gift you have there." The male that Edward hit said. "She never mentioned a mate when she was fucking me." Edward freed his arm and clawed at the male, but he was out of reach.

"If I remember correctly, which I do, Bella said she had never met any vampires before us." The strawberry blond laughed. "Are you sure she knows you're her mate, because she made it very apparent that she didn't have one." The whole coven was laughing by now. "None the less Bella left yesterday with a few others, a couple and," she paused with a cheeky smile, "her mate."

Donna thought of a few choice images of Bella and Caesar, avoiding the ones where Bella pushed him away in annoyance. Edward yelled out, pain engulfing him. The coven was startled, but didn't let him go.

"Just let me go. I need to find her." Edward pleaded. The coven leader just stared at him as a light drizzle started.

"Let him up. Bella is long gone. Don't follow us."

Edward didn't even wait for them to leave before he started doubling back to the clearing. A front was stirring the air all around him. He had to run back to the clearing based on his memory. All the scents were scattered by the time he reached it.

"Damn it." He cursed halfheartedly. Edward headed in the direction of the other scent trail, but it had dissipated. "Damn it!" He kept pushing forward hoping to catch the scent again. "God damn it!" He punched a crater into the ground. "Why does this keep fucking happening!?!" Harder and harder he hit the earth until the sun finally set once again.

**I've got a headache. **


	14. I said Please

Chapter 14: I said Please

"If you keep staring at me like that I'm going to bash your face in!" Bella shouted at Caesar.

"Sorry, there is just something about seeing an attractive woman killing a human that is just beautiful."

"You're sadistic." Caesar shrugged. "You know, I don't like you very much."

"Yes, but you like my touch." Bella snorted at him as she buried a corpse.

"Everyone likes a good orgasm." Neither of them said anything for a while. "How old are you anyways?"

"Little over two hundred years, going on strong." Peter and Charlotte walked towards them carrying two corpses. Both their eyes were a startling bright shade of red.

"You're too old for me. Go away." Charlotte laughed and Caesar frowned.

"I'm a baby compared to most."

"Hey Bella, Caesar normally goes for newborns. Don't be flattered." Caesar tossed a rock at Peter.

"Don't worry, Peter, I'm not. Why would I want him when I've got you two?" Bella winked at the couple. "You don't mind sharing Peter, do ya Charlotte? You know I like blonds." Charlotte walked over and sat on Bella's lap, twirling her hair.

"You know I don't mind sharing, Bella, just as long as I get to play with you too." Caesar rolled his eyes at their little display.

"You two never grow up." Caesar sulked as he went off to find dinner.

"You all knew each other before hand?" Bella asked once Caesar left.

"Somewhat, back during the wars in the south we were on opposite sides. He killed a lot of our friends, but we don't hold it against him. It's just how things were back then." Peter shrugged. His eyes lit up all of the sudden. "Speaking of the past do you smell that, Charlotte?" Bella and Charlotte sniffed deeply. Charlotte smiled.

"Well, it seems like Bella is our lucky charm. How long has it been since we've seen Jasper?" Bella didn't make the connection between Jasper Hale and the Jasper Charlotte was speaking of.

"Much too long. We're downwind of him and a few other vampires." Bella saw the indecision in Peter's eyes.

"You two go see your friend. I'll wait for Caesar then we'll follow you." Peter nodded and Charlotte placed a kiss on the side of Bella's cheek before they followed the scent.

Alone, Bella was used to it. She buried the corpses Charlotte and Peter left slowly, arranging the cover soil so that it looked untouched. Two hours came and went.

"Oh fuck this." Bella said impatiently. She was about to follow Peter's and Charlotte's trail when she heard them coming back, along with two other pairs of feet.

"Stop! No, I can't see." Someone in the distance said. "We have to get out of here!"

"Hold on," Charlotte said through the other woman's ranting, "our friends are just up ahead." Bella shot forward to meet up with them, not fully understanding the situation.

Then a rare sight was seen by the five vampires, Alice surprised. Her eyes were the size of saucepans as she stared at Bella. Peter and Charlotte stopped their running confused at her reaction. Jasper was motionless as Bella teetered from one foot to the other, trying to think fast. Then the shit hit the fan.

"Bella?!?" Alice screeched. She pounced on her, giving her a crippling hug. "I can't believe Edward was telling the truth. I thought you were dead." She whispered into the Bella's shoulder before pulling back slightly so that she could look at her. "Why didn't you try to find us? Everyone was so sad when we found out you were dead." Bella peeled Alice off her.

"I didn't look for you guys because Edward was chasing me. He hurt me so much, Alice. I didn't even know someone could hurt that much." Bella's breaths were choppy. "I wasn't even sure you were vampires. I couldn't live with myself if I killed you." She choked back a sob. "I was so scared all the time that he'd find me again and hurt me. It was hell. Before I met Charlotte and Peter I barely understood what I am. I killed so many people." Bella was curling in on herself and Alice was trying to sooth her. Charlotte walked over and pulled Bella into her lap so that she could cry.

Alice stood back and felt Jasper hug her from behind. She didn't know what to say or do. Part of her wanted to beat the crap out of Edward while the other part wanted to smother Bella with her happiness.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. If I had known- I just I couldn't see you. I thought you were dead. I still can't see you, or us."

"What do you mean you can't see her? She's right here." Charlotte whispered.

"I can't feel her either, Alice. It's like she isn't even there." Jasper looked up from Bella to Charlotte. "Alice can see the future. I thought I told you that."

"How did you find me?"

"We didn't know you were alive. We came down here because Edward's future disappeared…" Realization dawned on Bella's face.

"We need to leave. I don't want to see him. Please can we go? Please!" Bella sounded hysterical. "It hurt so much. I can't live through that twice, Alice. Please hide me or, or just get me away from here." It almost looked like there were tears running down her face, but there were none.

"Shh, Bella, hush it's alright. This Edward fellow didn't hurt you. That pain is a byproduct of when you're turning into a vampire." Charlotte sounded more like a mother than a lover. "We all went through that burning hell."

"I don't care; can we please just get out of here?" Alice nodded and pulled out her cell phone.

"Esme, you two don't need to search for Edward. He'll be fine."

"Oh, put him on the phone please. I just want to hear his voice to make sure." Esme, always the mother, said.

"We didn't exactly find him." Esme was about to question her. "Edward is in no danger. Just head back home please. It's easier to show you than to explain. Jasper and I can't fly back because we are bringing a newborn so don't wait up."

"Alright, be careful." It was evident in Esme's voice that she wanted to ask more.

"Caesar's coming." Peter murmured. When Caesar came into sight Jasper's eyes immediately went black. Before Peter could stop him was attacking Caesar. "Stop, Jasper!" Peter tried to pull them apart but they were both biting and snarling. They broke apart and started circling each other. Caesar's ear was in Jasper's mouth and he spit it out. Peter jumped between the pair. "Stop damn it! The war is over. You don't have to be enemies anymore." Jasper didn't move from his stance.

Slowly, Caesar straightened up in a sign of good faith. Jasper looked at him a moment before following suit. Very carefully Caesar walked to where his ear rested and picked it up. Jasper's eyes never left him.

"I'm Caesar." He held out his hand as his ear melded back to his head.

"Jasper." He didn't shake his hand. Caesar put his hand down and looked at Alice. Jasper growled. "That's Alice, my mate." Caesar took a step back, hands up.

"I wasn't even thinking like that." Jasper didn't respond.

"Can we leave now?" Bella whispered from the sidelines.

"Where are we going?" Caesar asked genuinely curious.

"_We _are going nowhere." Jasper snarled. "Alice, Bella, and I are going to North Dakota. Peter and Charlotte are welcomed to join, but you are not."

"Jasper," Peter sighed, "Caesar is actually a rather nice person. Please try to disregard your past meetings." Jasper remained stoic.

"Will you three be joining us?" Alice asked after a few minutes of awkward silence. Peter and Charlotte nodded their heads.

"Yes, I enjoy Bella too much to leave." Caesar said smugly. Bella hissed at him.

The six vampires took off through the forest heading North West. Jasper and Peter were evenly matched when it came to speed. Alice passed the pair easily, moving like a little blur of black and white. Caesar was the slowest and Bella seemed to fluctuate depending on who she wanted to run with. Peter stopped the group in South Dakota.

"We should hunt before we get to your territory."

"That's a good idea." Alice said sadly. "I actually needed to talk to you about that, Bella." Bella watched the three human blood drinkers walk off before going over to Alice. "I was wondering if you would like to convert to our lifestyle."

"What's your lifestyle?" Alice's eyes flashed.

"I guess Charlotte and Peter didn't talk about it. My family doesn't drink human blood. We drink from animal's." Bella's face twisted in disgust.

"You can live off that?" She asked incredulously.

"Yes, it doesn't taste as good as human blood, but the lack of guilt makes up for that. That's why Jasper's and my eyes are gold instead of red." Bella nodded in thought.

"I'll try it." Alice jumped for joy and grabbed Bella's hand.

"We'll start now." Alice dragged Bella around a large forest with Jasper trailing behind them. "Those deer right there." Alice pointed across a field and Bella easily spotted them. "Go for the buck, the female is pregnant."

Bella bolted from their hiding spot. The deer got two feet before Bella was on him. She cracked his neck and started drinking before she let go of it and started coughing.

"You weren't kidding, Alice. This taste _nothing_ like human blood." Bella chocked out before continuing to drain the animal. She gagged again and dropped the drained bambi.

Bella turned to her two companions, her eyes a dark redorange. Blood covered her sparse clothing that was already badly torn. Jasper stayed behind to hunt as Bella and Alice walked back to the place where the two groups parted ways and sat down.

"See that wasn't so bad, Bella." Bella snorted at Alice. They sat in silence for a while as they waited. "I'm really glad you're back."

"Me too." Bella bit her lip. "How did Charlie take my death?"

"Horribly. He quit the force. We were all really worried about him, but then he started dating some woman named Sue. He's doing better now." Alice chuckled. "You have a whole page in the yearbook. I'll have to show it to you sometime."

It was another ten minutes before the others joined them. Caesar tossed Bella a fresh pair of clothes.

"Thanks." Without a second thought Bella started undressing. Alice blanched before turning around.

"I'm going to go get Jasper." Alice said, still startled. She found him a few miles off drinking a deer. She waited for him to finish before speaking. "Oh my goodness Jasper," Alice huffed not knowing how to word what she was going to say, " Caesar got Bella some clothes while they were gone and she just started stripping in front of us and changed into them." Jasper wiped his mouth while staring at his wife.

"I'm not surprised considering she's with Charlotte and Peter. During the wars when we weren't fighting or feeding we were fucking." Jasper had only brushed upon this subject with Alice. "Newborns only really know lust and thirst. We actually encouraged newborns to have sex because it distracted them from the thirst. I'm sure they have pulled Bella into their dirty little world. It wouldn't be too outlandish to assume that they all have slept together."

"That's so…crazy." It was the only thing Alice could say. Jasper shrugged.

"It's the same way out there for nomads. I'm sure if you hadn't seen me or the Cullens you'd be knee deep in debauchery. It's just the way things are. I can't believe you haven't heard some of the stories that come from the Volturi."

They headed back to the group silently as Alice processed all the new information. When they got back Bella was sitting on Peter's lap, his hand on her thigh. Charlotte was leaning against him while Caesar stood, talking animatedly about the ipod he took from his victim. He was simply amazed by it.

Jasper laughed at his ignorance. He pulled out his cell phone.

"You know this can play music too, contact people, and even access the internet."

"What's the internet?" Jasper only laughed harder before snorting and running.

The new Cullen mansion was much bigger than the one Bella remembered from Forks. It was pushed further back in the woods and had a small pond. Bella was nervous. She knew Edward was still in Florida, but part of her expected him to walk out the front door and attack her.

Everyone was already at the front door while Bella stayed back, just looking at the house. They didn't notice her hesitance as they entered. She wasn't sure how long she just stood there before the sound of crunching gravel caught her attention. She listened as a car neared her, still not moving. The car stopped and a door opened.

Bella looked over her shoulder to see a blond head emerge from the car. She gaped as they made eye contact.

"Bella?"

**I like this chapter, a lot. Please review and tell me what you're thinking. **


	15. Little Info on Settling In

Chapter 15: Little Info on _Settling In_

Carlisle was ignoring all calls coming from his family. Emmett and Esme had arrived back from Florida the day before saying that Alice had everything under control and that she was bringing a newborn with her.

It irked him that they were away. It was harder to not be alone with Esme when there were only two other people in the house. So he had retreated to the hospital to work an extra shift. It was over much too quick for his liking.

With an annoyed growl he turned on the car and headed home. He tried to think of an excuse to leave before he even arrived. He settled for saying his phone was broken and he needed to pick up a new one. It would also give him an excuse as to why he wasn't answering anyone's calls.

Carlisle turned onto an off shoot of an already barley used road deep in the woods. He slowed his car trying to juice a few more seconds out of his trip. A glitter in the distance caught his eyes.

A brunette vampire was standing outside of his house sparkling in the light. He couldn't help his eyes from raking over every inch he could see. His eyes were just drawn to her.

He forwent the garage and just parked on the gravel. With more speed than was appropriate he wrenched the door open as she turned around.

The world stopped.

_'Bella?'_ Carlisle's thoughts mirrored his words. There was clear recognition in her eyes. She licked her lips before speaking and he nearly fell to his knees.

"You look even better than before." She glided over to him, lust building up in both of them. She let out a little moan as she breathed him in. "Oh, you even smell better."

Bella was so close. He just wanted to grab her and pull her flush against him, to drown in her scent and her touch.

"There you are, Bella." Alice shouted from the porch. "Hi Carlisle. You two get inside. We have lots to talk about."

Bella didn't glance back as she walked to her friend. He stared at her a moment before following.

"So this is the infamous Bella!" Emmett bellowed as he picked up Bella to give her a hug. Carlisle panicked for a split second before remembering she was no longer a human.

"Emmett I'm guessing." He nodded his head like a school boy to a hot teacher. "Then that must make that beautiful blond Rosalie." Rose glared at her, but Bella didn't seem fazed.

They piled into the living room. Carlisle sat on a loveseat and Esme joined him cue the inching away from her. He noticed the three other vampires outside of his family. Two he knew and one he didn't. He eyed them as Charlotte pulled Bella down in-between her and Peter. They all seemed rather affectionate, along with the vampire he didn't know.

"Introductions are need." Carlisle said once everyone was seated comfortably which ended up with Charlotte in Bella's lap when the sofa they were on became too cramped. Names were exchanged and Carlisle wasn't sure how he felt about Caesar. It was evident that Jasper didn't like him.

"How were you changed, Bella?" Alice asked from the armrest of the chair Jasper was sitting on.

"I was at the hot springs in Port something." Bella squinted, trying to remember.

"Port Angeles." Alice interjected and Bella nodded.

"Yes, I was at the hot springs in Port Angeles walking on a trail back to where my friends were eating. I felt like I was being followed so I picked up speed, but tripped over something. The last thing I saw before the fire was Edward." Bella wasn't completely sure of her story. Her human memories were already fading. Carlisle wanted to growl, but he kept it inside, not even letting a peep out.

"That lines up with the police reports." Alice said, not looking at Bella. "They said they found a puddle of your blood on a trail."

"I'm not sure how long I was burning," Bella flinched, "it felt like forever, but when it went away Edward was there. I tried to get away from him and whatever he was doing to cause the burning, but he kept tackling me to the ground." This time Carlisle couldn't control his growl. It slipped out.

"That stupid boy." He hissed. "He should have brought you to me. He's not equipped to handle a newborn on his own." Jasper looked at Carlisle for a moment before nodding in agreement.

"It only took a few well aimed kicks for me to get away." Bella chuckled darkly. Caesar shifted uncomfortable, not a stranger to her kicks. Carlisle noted his movement for later examination. "After that I just kept running. Everything was so new," She paused, "and bloody." Carlisle noticed the slight orange tinge in her eyes.

"I see someone has already told you of our lifestyle." Bella looked up at him. "How are you finding it?"

"It's something else." Bella half laughed half sighed. "I don't know if I can do it, but I'm willing to try." Carlisle nodded with a half smile and Bella couldn't look away.

"What did you do after you were changed?" Emmett asked, breaking their gaze.

"I ran and hunted until a couple weeks ago when I stumble upon a mass of vampires." Charlotte giggled and squirmed in Bella's lap. Carlisle raised an eyebrow but did not comment. "It was the first vampires I really met. They explained a few _things_ to me." Charlotte only giggled louder and Bella had to pinch her side to keep her quiet. Peter pulled his wife off Bella and into his lap. Alice and Jasper exchanged a knowing look leaving Carlisle utterly confused.

A hand touched his thigh and he jumped up, startled.

"Excuse me." Carlisle said in his most polite voice as he sat down. Esme was looking at her lap completely embarrassed and ashamed. "What about you other three, have you considered our lifestyle."

"No thank you Carlisle. Charlotte and I are just visiting and making sure Bella gets settled in. We'll refrain from hunting in your territory." The Cullens had asked Peter and Charlotte this question various times.

"I actually tried it once in Alaska." Caesar said, drawing the entire room's attention to him. "I couldn't stick to it."

"Yes, we have some very close friends in Alaska that are vegetarians as well-" Caesar cut Carlisle off.

"But I think I will stay a bit too to, oh how did you word it Peter? Oh, to help Bella _settle in_." He smiled cheekily.

"I think Charlotte and Peter are more than enough help when it comes to me _settling in_. You should just go on your marry way." Bella glared at him.

"I agree with Bella." Jasper said, ignoring their underlying meaning. "You should leave. Bella will have plenty of people to help her settle into our lifestyle."

"Yes, but I will get her _settled in_ fastest." Caesar continued. Peter scoffed.

"Shut up you two." Charlotte said with a straight face looking at Caesar and Peter. "We all know Peter can get her _settled in _the fastest _and _make sure she is more than comfortable." She huffed. "Bella likes blonds more anyways." Caesar glared at the couple as they laughed together

Carlisle cleared his throat not really wanting to know what they were talking about, though he did hear the part about Bella liking blonds quite clearly.

"Either way we have plenty of spare rooms and humans only very rarely come here." Esme said meekly.

There was a pregnant pause before Bella scoffed and went upstairs.

**I need reviews! Legitly. I'm on the edge of an anxiety attack. All my relatives are in my house and I'm border line claustrophobic. I'm having a major inability to do school work. In general I'm breaking down. This is my escape. **


	16. This Voyeur Needs a Lawyer

Chapter 16: This Voyeur Needs a Lawyer

A pane of glass covered in pollen obscured Carlisle's view. He stared through the murky window in his office to the outside world. The sun was out, shining down on the backyard and its two occupants.

Alice and Bella were basking in the sun talking to each other, catching up on missed times. They laughed together at the mention of Jessica being rejected by Mike again even after Bella went missing. They were just enjoying the presence of a lost friend found.

Carlisle's eyes took in every movement the newborn made. The way Bella dug her fingers in the ground whenever she laughed too hard, her fingers brushing a stray lock behind her ear whenever Alice embarrassed her, or how her eyes widened every time Alice told her about how the family was falling apart. Every inch she moved he caught and savored.

Carlisle traced the image of Bella on the glass lightly. It matched her temperature perfectly. A knock came from the door and his hand dropped from the window.

"Come in." Carlisle whispered, not wanting Bella to hear him. He pulled his eyes away reluctantly as the door opened. Jasper walked in and stood beside Carlisle. They both looked out the window.

"I never understood your emotions towards what Edward did till now." Jasper said in an equally muted voice. His eyes were trained on his wife. Carlisle didn't move or say a thing.

He glanced at Jasper and saw all the adoration in his eyes for Alice. Carlisle wondered what his own eyes looked like when he was looking at Bella.

"Does she feel the same way I do?" Carlisle breathed out. There was another long moment of silence. Carlisle didn't show how anxious he was for his answer, but Jasper felt it.

"I can't feel Bella's emotions because of her gift. Alice can't see her future either. That's why we thought she was dead." Carlisle let out a sigh that was both relieved and annoyed. "What are you going to do?" Carlisle fiddled with his wedding ring. "Either way, don't get mad at Charlotte, Peter, and Caesar when they touch her. She's a newborn still. She wants it."

"What?" Carlisle asked before his eyes narrowed.

"Remember how it was when Rosalie and Emmett were newborns." Carlisle nodded in understanding. He remembered. They were all over each other. When the bloodlust wasn't on their mind it was just mere lust.

They continued watching the two women in silence. A half an hour passed and Alice left shortly after followed by Jasper.

Bella fell backwards, lying in the sun with her eyes closed. She looked so lovely as she ran her fingers through her hair. Her fingers traced the contours of her collarbone before resting between her breasts.

Carlisle's breathe stuttered and Bella's eyes flashed open, meeting his. He retreated into the dark of his office quickly.

* * *

Bella stared at the window for a minute wondering if she had seen anything at all or if it was just the reflection of the sun on the glass. She turned her eyes to the sun. As a human it had hurt too much to give it more than a glance, but with her new eyes she couldn't seem to look away.

As a human it had been a white blotch in the form of a perfect circle. As a vampire it was so much more. It was red, orange, and yellow all crashing and pushing against each other. Flames were shooting towards her from millions of miles away, lassos of light reaching for her.

Bella reached a hand up enjoying the warmth it granted her. She stayed in that position until night arrived.

The light from the house beckoned to her. Artificial light was something she used to only see when she grabbed a human for drinking when she was wild. It was now a sign of her domestication, her new home, a haven without human blood to tarnish it.

The door didn't creak as Bella opened it and walked into the kitchen. Esme was cleaning up an imaginary stain. Bella took in the cleaning product's smell, letting human memories surface. They brought a smile to her face.

"Would you like to join me?" Esme asked, noticing Bella's smile.

"I'd like that." Bella took a dish rag and lightly scrubbed the sink. The normalcy of cleaning almost made the burning in Bella's throat lessen, almost. "Why are you cleaning?" Bella asked after a few minutes.

"Same as you, I like it. Our world is so strange. Even after decades I still find it bizarre. When I'm cleaning the world looks the same as when I was human." Bella nodded.

"You seem like a genuinely nice person. It's refreshing." Bella said, still looking down at the sink. Esme paused and looked up. When she saw Bella wasn't looking at her she fiddled with her blouse nervously, feeling a bit awkward.

"Thank you dear."

The pair continued cleaning until Bella felt the familiar feeling of eyes on her. She put the rag down beside Esme, wordlessly saying goodbye. In a slow motion she turned around. Carlisle was standing in the doorway. He averted his eyes quickly, pretending to be looking out the window.

Bella started walking to him and towards the living room. As she walked past him she lightly placed her hand on his shoulder letting her fingers run down his chest, nearly ripping his shirt.

Carlisle quivered with lust and leaned against the door frame for support. Esme still hadn't noticed his presence so he slipped away back to his office.

Bella saw him tremble before turning back to walk to the living room. Charlotte was watching them with wise eyes. She followed Bella and sat on the sofa with her. Emmett was playing a video game.

"It's already burning again." Bella said as she held her throat. Emmett paused his game.

"I don't know what to tell you, Bella. It's gonna hurt, but it's worth it." Emmett tried to convey his sympathy. Bella gave him a sad smile and he went back to his game.

Charlotte and Bella watched Emmett play. Bella began tapping her finger against the armrest as she thought about Esme and Carlisle. Her drumming quickened.

"Guilt doesn't become you my dear Bella." Charlotte whispered as she hugged Bella around the waist. It didn't help. Charlotte noticed. "How about some physical therapy with Peter for both your guilt and for the thirst." Bella rolled the idea around her head.

"That's a lovely idea."

"Good, go in the forest in the backyard while I go get Peter. He'll meet you there." Bella walked off as a plan ticked to life in Charlotte's head. She went upstairs and found Peter reading. "Go to the woods in the backyard. Bella needs some _help_ from you." Peter smirked and handed his mate the book before leaving. Charlotte counted out five minutes before she moved again. She went to Carlisle's office without knocking.

"How can I help you, Charlotte?" Carlisle didn't like the look in her eyes.

"Follow me real quick." Carlisle didn't move. "Come on, I promise you it'll be worth your time." He complied. "Don't let them hear you or see you." Charlotte said as they entered the woods.

"What's going on and who are we going to see?" Charlotte didn't answer him as they went deeper in the forest. Noises caught their attention, the harsh slap of granite skin, moans, and groans. Carlisle started to growl as he recognized Bella's voice, but a look from Charlotte silenced him.

They finally stumbled upon Bella and Peter screwing. Bella was on top of him, her breast bouncing with every thrust she received and met with her own. Her head was thrown back in ecstasy as she rode. She looked absolutely enthralling in Carlisle's eyes. He wanted to touch her, but was frozen in place. All he could do was watch. He didn't remember Charlotte's presence until she whispered in his ear.

"That could be you."

**Interesting right? That's the only word I can use to describe this chapter. What do you think? **


	17. Too Much

Chapter 17: Too Much

Jasper was irritated. The drumming of his fingers against his leg was evidence enough of that. The predatory side of him could be seen clearly in his eyes, that is, if anyone had enough balls to look in his eyes when he was in this sort of mood.

Alice nuzzled into his side, unnoticed. Her eyes were following the same thing his were, but the look in her eyes were very different than his. Her eyes held a happy glee as she watched Caesar and Bella.

Bella was snuggled in his lap as he whispered stories into her ear. She giggled when it was appropriate and was silent when it wasn't, but her eyes were distant. Alice didn't notice the remote look. Caesar ran his fingers through Bella's hair and she leaned into his touch.

Someone hit Jasper on the back of his head hard and he growled viciously.

"Relax," Peter said as he hopped over the couch and plopped down beside Jasper, "we're all friends here." Jasper swiped out towards him, but Peter dodged, with only millimeters to spare.

Caesar looked up still whispering and Bella seemed not to notice or really care what was going on around her.

"Now now children, none of that please. We don't want to break Esme's lovely house." Charlotte said in a mocking voice. Bella blinked a couple of times before her eyes came back into focus and onto Charlotte. Halfway through Caesar's sentence she stood and walked out of the room. Everyone watched her with different expressions on their faces. Jasper was smiling, Alice was confused, Charlotte looked on knowingly, Caesar had poorly masked frustration, and Peter just shrugged.

"Newborns, so temperamental in the oddest ways." Peter said softly. Alice huffed still perplexed before she shuffled off behind Bella.

The atmosphere grew tense quickly. Caesar's shoulders grew taut as Jasper stared him down.

"You should leave." Jasper's words mixed with the low grumble of his growl. Peter rolled his eyes and let his head fall backwards onto the couch.

"I agree." Charlotte spoke up, surprising her husband. "You've overstayed your welcome."

"But Bella-"

"Doesn't care if you're here or not." Charlotte said sharply as Alice walked back in the room. "I, on the other hand, do care if you're here and I want you gone."

"You're out of line." Alice hissed before Caesar could speak. "Bella likes him. Have you even asked her what she thinks?" Charlotte scoffed.

"You stupid-" Charlotte started and Jasper let out a warning growl. Her tone turned into a threatening whisper. "You may have known her as a human, but I know more about her than you ever will." Alice was furious and bristling like cat.

"Get down here, now!" There was a moment of silence before four pairs of feet drummed down the spiraling staircase and one from outside. Her eyes landed on an indifferent Bella. "Bella!" She cleared her throat and tried again. "Bella, Charlotte wants Caesar gone." Bella's eyes slowly drifted to Caesar while Carlisle's eyes were shaded, but on Bella.

"So?" Alice blanched.

"So? So!" Her voice rose steadily. "He's your _lover_! Why would you want him to go?" Bella snorted.

"Lover? No way in hell is he my lover. I wouldn't even say he's my friend." Bella spoke of Caesar as if he wasn't even in the room and sat on the armrest of the sofa, straightening out her blouse. Carlisle hid a smile. Alice twirled on her heels to see him.

"Carlisle are you going to stand for such rudeness in your house?" He made sure his façade was firmly in place before responding.

"This matter doesn't really seem to involve me. We're all adults here. If the majority wants someone gone than I won't stop them." Jasper could feel the glee coming off of Carlisle in waves.

"When did this become a democracy where we just vote people off the island?"

"Since I said it was." Carlisle's tone was a matter of fact contrasting with his childish words.

"Alright, alright, that's enough." Caesar stood up. "I'll leave."

No one stopped him.

* * *

**CPOV**

I couldn't hide my smile now that that bastard was gone. The household felt lighter except for when Esme tried to corner me. She was more persistent now that the house was alive again.

The door to my office opened without anyone knocking first, an overly personal gesture that I did not appreciate when Esme entered.

"Excuse me." I said as I stood up before she could even open her mouth. "I was just about to go." I tried not to look into her eyes as I passed by. They always made me sad.

"We're heading off to hunt. Would you like to join?" Emmett offered as I walked down the stairs at a leisurely pace. I nodded. "Good, I'll go get Rose and Bella."

I suppressed a groan of desire. Bella in the forest, the last time I saw her there, I couldn't even think about it. It was too much for just one man, especially since I was so deprived of the pleasures of the flesh. It was a self imposed prison that seemed to become tougher to maintain as the days went by with Bella prancing around with her two lovers. I'm so close to breaking, but I could never use Esme like that. I am already hurting her enough as it is.

"Are you alright, Carlisle?" I blinked a few times clearing my mind and looked up to see Bella standing rather close to me. I savored it a moment before responding.

"Of course I am. Thank you for asking. Are you ready to go?" I wanted to slap myself. I sounded like an overly polite idiot to my own ears. I didn't even want to know what I sounded like to her.

Bella slipped off her shoes. "Yeah, let's go." I gave her a questioning look. "Running with shoes on doesn't feel right." She explained. "Also, I like the feel of the moss between my toes." The flash of embarrassment that went across her face was too adorable for me to stand.

Running with Bella was calming. She and Rose were leading the hunt while Emmett and I hung in the back. Her scent was wafting backwards towards me, making the run all the more better.

* * *

"This taste like shit!" Bella said as she dropped the still bleeding elk on the ground. It was twisting on the ground till I broke its neck. Bella cringed at the noise and I frowned at my own bluntness. "How can you stand it?" She asked me. I tried not to look at the way her blood soaked shirt clung to her.

"Practice, it's the only thing I've drank, ever. I've only tasted it when I was changing someone, but I don't think that counts." Bella stared at me for a minute making me shift uncomfortably. I looked off into the distance, but still couldn't see where Emmett and Rosalie had run off to.

"You must have some sort of god like self-control. I can hardly imagine…" Bella trailed off. "Does the burn ever truly go away?"

"It hasn't in all of my years. It's always gnawing away in the back of my throat. If you try to ignore it you'll slip up. If you suppress the thirst it will explode at the worst possible time. There is not enough animal blood in the world to satisfy the thirst. The only way to live with it is to be constantly aware of the burn, never forgetting it for a minute." I hated the look on her face as I told her this. She was just so sad. That piece of shit Edward. He was an idiot for damning her to this life, but I can't be mad at him for that. Without his idiocy she would never be in front of me right now.

"Carlisle?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"How old are you?" I froze.

"Old." Bella didn't say anything, waiting for me to continue. "Do I really have to say? It's a bit embarrassing, compared to you."

"You don't have to, but I would appreciate it if you did." She was leaning forward, that wet shirt teasing me.

"I was born in the 1640's, England. The details are fuzzy." Bella let out a sigh.

"Thank goodness. That's not too bad. I was worried you were a 1000 years old or something." I let out my own sigh of relief. "Why don't you have an accent?"

"Where ever I am I use the native accent. It's better not to stick out."

"Let me hear all of your accents." I nodded and Bella sat down, trying to get comfortable. I gauged her reaction as I went from Arabic all the way through to Ukrainian. She sat enthralled and I felt rather cocky. "I really like your English accent. I've never been one for accents, but god Carlisle! The way you speak..."

"You like the sound of my voice Bella?" I asked, laying my native accent on thick. Bella shivered and I wanted to crawl to her side to whisper more words in her ear. I tilted my head to the side, listening. "Emmett and Rose are coming." Bella stood up and brushed herself off. I quickly roughed up the elk, making it look like a natural predator had taken it down.

"We need to take the long way around to get home." Rosalie announced. "There are a few hunters out and I don't want to take any chances."

I took the lead home, knowing the backlands more than the others from all the times I had avoided going back home. Emmett lagged in the back as Rosalie and Bella chatted in the middle.

"Stop!" Rosalie shouted and I turned around just as Bella passed me by and the scent of human clicked into my consciousness. Without a thought my hand shot out grabbing onto Bella's arm. My wrist twisted painfully as I brought her to a sudden halt. She turned on me with a feral look on her face. She bit into my arm, trying to stun me into letting go. I hissed, refusing to let her go and pulled her towards me.

"Bella, stop." I growled under my breath and tried to wrap my arms around her struggling form. Emmett and Rosalie ran up to us, but couldn't get past Bella's thrashing kicks to help me.

"Just let me go, Carlisle! Fuck this stupid lifestyle! I want that blood! I don't care if I kill a human!" Her elbow hit me in my lower gut, winding me. "Fucking humans are overpopulated, ruining the world." I pulled her painfully close.

"You'll feel guilty, Bella." I whispered in her ear, still using my accent. I instantly felt her lessen her struggles. "Remember all the faces of the ones you killed, all the families you destroyed. The blood isn't worth it." I continued to croon into her ear and she slowly calmed down. Weak sobs shook through her.

"I'm sorry." Bella's voice was so low I barely heard her.

"It's alright, Bella. It could have been worse." I stroked her hair, still. I picked her up and she curled up against my chest whispering and her arms captured me in an embrace. "Let's go home." I said to everyone, back to my fake accent.

Bella's sobs strengthened as we ran. Rose and Emmett were close to my side, just in case. When I entered the house the family started swarming around me. I sat on the couch, Bella still clinging to me. Esme kneeled by my side.

"Oh, Bella." Esme said in a sad voice. Charlotte hissed when Esme tried to stroke Bella.

"You stay away from her." Charlotte said and Esme backed away from Bella. "Everyone out," She shouted, "except for you Carlisle." Out of the nine vampires only four remained in the room, Bella, Peter, Charlotte, and I. Charlotte let out a sigh. "Bella, darling, are you okay?" Bella shook her head no, still buried in my arms. "What's wrong?"

"She almost killed a human." I explained. Peter who was leaning against the back wall didn't say anything.

"Oh honey!" Charlotte clicked her tongue. "You ate animals as a human and now you're eating them as a vampire. It's the same thing, survival of the fittest." Bella's weeps didn't lessen.

"You're not helping." I snapped at Charlotte. "Humans are different than most animals. Where birds adapted flight humans adapted intelligence, a quality that we share. Not to mention that we used to be humans ourselves."

"Water under the bridge." Charlotte murmured and Peter pushed off the wall, walking towards them.

"Char, I think Carlisle can handle this. We're not needed here." He gave his mate a look and they left.

"I'm a horrible person." I squeezed Bella closer to me.

"No you're not." Bella didn't respond, only grabbing onto my shirt in a death grip and somehow getting closer to me.

**I skimmed through the editing process. Sorry if there are any errors. My next update is going to be a bit slow. Please review. **


	18. Dwindling

Chapter 18: Dwindling

**Bella's Point of View**

It was like a thousand bugs crawling under my skin, the guilt. Two foolish urges acted upon were nibbling away at my nerves.

That human blood! The smell of it was like mixing compost my whole life in a cave then suddenly being dropped into field of lilies.

I couldn't stop salivating at the thought of it. Gulping back the flow of my own venom was almost as hard as drinking putrid animal blood.

The sad thing was that the majority of my guilt wasn't even from my near snuffing out of yet another life. My true self-reproach came from what followed it, being in his arms. Carlisle, I just felt so comfortable in his arms. I enjoyed it too much.

My feeling of guilt was the aftermath of two other emotions, affection and strong attachment.

I wanted something I couldn't have. I _wanted _him, but someone already had him.

Esme, one of those few legitimately nice people. She was everything my mother never could be, a mother. And I wanted her husband in every way, shape, and form.

I fell backwards onto my bed and covered my eyes. Too many things were happening at once.

"Bella stop it!" Charlotte shouted scaring me half to life. I shot upwards into a sitting position.

"Go away, Charlotte. I'm not in the best of moods with you." Charlotte jumped upwards planning on landing on me, but I rolled off the bed and out of her way. The springboard screeched and I pulled the sheets out from under her. In one quick motion I covered Charlotte and started smothering her. She clawed through the blanket. "Esme is going to be mad at you." I teased.

"Oh, Bella, Bella, Bella, you do not want to mess with me." Charlotte crouched down and showed her teeth. "I'll kick your ass."

"Prepare to be surprised. Caesar taught me a few things about fighting while you and Peter were wasting your never ending time." I watched Charlotte carefully, mirroring her every move until I saw an opening. I never did, but apparently she did because before I knew it she had tackled me and I was down for the count. She had me in a hold I couldn't get out of. "I give, I give!" I shouted after a few moments of me struggling.

"Pathetic." Charlotte tisked.

"I am annoyed with you though, Char." She looked at me questioningly. "I really want to stick to this lifestyle. I don't need your discouragement. It's hard enough as it is, dealing with the bloodlust." She nodded solemnly.

"I'm sorry. On occasions my big mouth speaks before I think." I patted her on the shoulder, not fully forgiving her yet, but trying. She looked somber for a moment before her eyes lit up. "So why are you in such a foul mood, other than my insensitivity and your little mess up? I know there has to be more." I scowled at her. "Oh there is more!"

"Shut up, Charlotte. It's nothing."

"Guilty again, my dear?" She sat by my side, speaking in a low voice. "Do you ever just watch him?"

"Of course not!"

"You should! Just observe how he and Esme interact. I'm sure it will alleviate all of your guilt." I felt like Charlotte was the devil whispering lies into my ears. She read the look on my face. "Just do it. It's not like it will get you in to trouble or anything." I sighed, not looking at her.

"Whatever, Char. I think I'd rather just mope." Charlotte clasped my shoulder with her hand and left the room silently.

I stared at the wall for a while neither thinking nor seeing it. Everything seemed a bit bland until I finally figured it wouldn't hurt to follow Charlotte's advice to some extent. I wouldn't seek them out. If they were around I'd let my eyes linger.

* * *

I couldn't help myself. I made no excuses or apologies. Trespassing wasn't such a bad thing to do, but it was giving me a small thrill. Sitting silently in Carlisle's office chair, enjoying his scent I let the little flicker of a thrill consume me. A huge grin found its way onto my face as I opened a book I had swiped from Carlisle's bookshelf.

My eyes flew over the printed letters, soaking them up. Each new word seemed to calm me. It was like I was back in my human life, the first time I read the book in my hands.

It had been yet another hot summer in Arizona. I was hiding under a giant umbrella, not letting the sun touch my pale skin. My knees were curled up against my chest with the book lying on the table in front of me. The only reason the day was memorable was because of the look Renee had when she sat across from me, both excited and guilty. Minutes later she announced that Phil had proposed.

The office door opened and I looked up from the small scrawl. Carlisle walked in unaware of my presence. He slowly loosened his tie with blank eyes.

"Are you alright?" I asked meekly. His eyes flashed surprise before swirling into a storm of emotions that were much too complex for me to even hope to unfurl. Carlisle finished removing his tie and gave me a smile that I rather enjoyed.

"I'm better now." His English accent was back making me squeeze my book tighter, trying to suppress my want. Carlisle sat in the less extravagant seat on the other side of his desk usually reserved for guest. With measured movements he unpacked his briefcase. I tried to picture myself acting so human, but I couldn't.

He didn't ask why I was in his private study and I didn't offer an explanation. Carlisle started working on some papers and I went back to my book. Every once in a while he would mutter something in that accent of his. It would be my undoing if he kept talking like that.

It was comfortable, just sitting with him. Under the table the tips of our shoes were touching each other's. I don't know if he was aware of it, but I hope he was.

I tried to put away my idle hopes and read, but my emotions were dictating my thoughts. I could only look at the pages and enjoy his presence.

A few hours later there was a knock on the door.

"Come in." Carlisle said without the accent that I adored. Esme came in. She looked between the two of us before speaking. Carlisle was still looking at his papers, not even bothering to turn around to look at her.

"Alice and Jasper have requested a family meeting. They are downstairs in the dining room."

"Alright." Carlisle said curtly. Esme waited at the door for him, but he didn't move. "We'll be down in a moment." Esme glanced at me then left. I looked at Carlisle carefully. He leaned back in his chair and our eyes met. We just stared at each other a moment before he spoke again. "Shall we?"

Darn that charming accent.

* * *

Everyone was neatly situated around the large wooden table. There was an empty seat next to Esme, but Carlisle sat by Peter instead leaving me to sit by her.

Once everyone was situated Alice stood up looking the same height as when she was sitting due to her short stature. Her posture was very formal.

"Jasper and I," she announced, "are going to look for Edward." I wasn't the only one who growled at this news. Charlotte was hissing, Peter had his teeth bared, and Carlisle was snarling. The armrest beneath his hand broke. I had never seen him lose his human façade. "Just hear us out." Alice held her arms up, trying to calm everyone. "We accused him of something he didn't do and prosecuted him for that. Bella is alive and fine. He needs to know that he is welcomed to come back home."

"Who said he was welcomed back?" Carlisle seethed and I bit my tongue, trying not to snap at Alice. Jasper was looking at us all, wordlessly and seemingly expecting our reactions.

"Carlisle, surely you can't still be mad at him?" Bad choice of words, Alice. Carlisle stood abruptly knocking his chair to the floor, damaging it further.

"Of course I'm still mad at that _boy_! He is a fool and not welcomed in any house of mine."

"Carlisle, he is your _son_." Alice pleaded.

"He is nothing but a _mistake_!" Esme gasped at his words, but I couldn't bring myself to care about Carlisle's harshness. Before Alice could open her mouth again I spoke.

"Don't I have a say in this? I'm the one he stalked and put through hell." My voice quivered against my will. Esme put her hand on my shoulder and I twitched.

"He's my brother, Bella. I know you understand that that burn came from your changing. It was a side-effect. He didn't mean to hurt you." She let out a whimper and begged me with her eyes.

"I don't care if he's your brother. Even if he didn't mean to hurt me he still did. I'm _scared_ of him, Alice. Even now I can still feel the fear." I squeezed my midsection and my gasps for unneeded air were shallow. "Please, for me, your best friend, don't go looking for him."

Alice's eyes were wide and she wrung her hands together. She looked down to the over polished table.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I have to."

My heart broke a little as I felt my sisterly love for Alice dwindle.

**Sorry for the wait. I had a block. I put out two new One-shots. Both with Volturi men. I like them both, a lot. **

**Awesome fact about me: One of my stories (A Missed Year) is The first story listed with BellaxCarlisle in the achieves. I'm a badass. It just can't be helped.**

**Review. **


	19. Shifting Emotions

Chapter 19: Shifting Emotions

**Carlisle's Point of View**

"_I'm sorry, Bella, I have to." _

At Alice's words Bella's face crumbled before my eyes. A shudder ran through her whole body and I felt fear rise inside of me.

"Bella!" Alice rocketed around the table to Bella's side. I hissed at her to stay back and she looked at me with wide eyes. Charlotte joined in and Alice stepped away from Bella and into Jasper's arms.

"Oh babe!" Charlotte whispered and pulled Bella onto her lap. Bella started dry sobbing into her chest and I sunk into my seat, my fear quickly warping back to anger.

"Alice, you are not to bring that _boy_into my house!" I slammed my fist against the table, punching a hole through it.

"You can't be serious!" Esme shrilled at me and my eyes narrowed at her. Bella's sobs stopped and I could feel her eyes on me.

"By God Esme would you just shut up for once? Of course I am serious! I wouldn't say something like that if I didn't mean it!" I was practically seething. I'm sure Jasper wasn't the only who could tell. I looked at the grain of the wooden table trying to rein my fury in. In my peripheral I saw Charlotte stroking Bella's hair and I felt my rage wean.

Peter spoke up.

"Jasper, you surely can tell that this is a bad idea. Just the mention of this Edward is causing chaos. To bring him here would be disastrous."

"Sorry, brother, that idiot is still family." Peter nodded at Jasper, putting up no further argument.

"God damn it!" Bella shouted while jumping out of Charlotte's lap. "No, no, no, no, no! Most definitely not acceptable!" Bella started pacing and her face was scrunched in worry. It was an expression I wished for her to never feel the need to wear again. Charlotte got up and pulled Bella back into her lap. Bella kicked and struggled in her grip, hitting the table, efficiently totaling it. "No Char, I'm leaving!" A cold shot of panic hit my heart.

"Bella, there is no need to leave." I cooed, letting my accent slip out. Rosalie gave me a strange look that I tried to ignore. "Edward won't be haunting this house." Bella seemed to calm down.

"You want to stick to this vegetarian lifestyle and I don't think Peter and I would be able to help you the way the Cullens can." Charlotte loosened her hold on Bella and rested her chin on Bella's shoulder. "Pete and I will be here to protect you. We will cross that bridge when we come to it. Please don't worry."

* * *

My eyes scanned over the dull chart of a little girl with a sprained ankle. It was an easy prognosis, but I still had to go over the usual procedures. She let out a little squeak as I prodded the swollen area lightly. After signing off on the girl's health I shooed her and her mother out without so much as a nod or lollypop.

I was in no mood to play doctor.

Alice and Jasper were leaving tonight even after all the arguing we did. I felt the rumble of a growl in my chest as I thought about them.

The sterile scent of the hospital that usual calmed me down only irritated me today. Actually, most everything was annoying me today.

For once in my lengthy existence I think I'm going to skip a day of work. With just a call to one of my nurses and a lame excuse I was out of there after only an hour of work. It's not like anything was happening in the small town of Forks that actually required my level of expertise. A school nurse could handle my job quite easily.

Jasper pulled up to the house the same moment as I did. He sensed my curiosity.

"Had to fill up the tank before we took off." He motioned towards the car and I bit my tongue.

The house was rather loud when I entered it. Emmett was playing some video game with the sound at its max volume. Peter was sitting next to him shouting at the screen. Alice was upstairs rummaging through her closet. I assume she was packing for what I hoped would be a very long and unfruitful journey.

Esme was nowhere to be seen, which I was thankful for. She was probable out shopping for a new dining room table after Bella destroyed it this morning.

Bella was hidden somewhere silently in the house. I could sense her, but not see her. It was a new ability that had manifested in the last few days. I was hoping she was curled up in my office the same way she was not too long ago, or in my bed. I felt a haze of lust roll over me and I immediately banished the thought.

Alice whisked downstairs carrying a suitcase and to the car. Jasper just looked on, neither helping nor hindering. She made three more trips even though she could have carried all the bags at once easily.

"Carlisle," Jasper said politely, "may I have a moment?" I gave him a stiff nod and he led me back outside and out of hearing rang. He took a while to just stare at me, analyzing. "Due to my gift I feel like I should be better at this type of thing." Jasper mumbled. "Your actions, whether conscious or not, are stirring up many emotions. Rosalie is starting to see your difference in behavior and Esme's emotions are all over the place.

"I'm not trying to push you towards Bella or Esme. That is completely your decision, but you should do something soon. I don't know how long it is going to take Alice and me to find Edward. It could be a couple of days or a couple of years, but just remember that he has strong feeling for her. If you don't make up your mind someone else will make it for you.

"Esme is my mother and I don't want to see her hurt. Just think about how your actions will affect everyone before you do anything too rash." Jasper put his hands in his pockets and left me with my thoughts and a fresh, sullen mood.

Not too long after Alice and Jasper were departing to parts unknown. I was so tangled up in my thoughts I couldn't even muster up the energy to be angry at them.

There was no logic in emotions and this was no math problem to be solved. No answer came to me after an hour of pondering. There was no black or white in my situation, just a morally unsound grey.

* * *

My rage at Alice's and Jasper's need to look for Edward came back full force when I made my way back to the house and noticed their car was missing from the driveway.

As I reached for the doorknob it twisted and the door moved away from me. Bella looked up in surprise.

"Oh, I thought you were at work." Her voice was soft and pleasing, shifting my emotions to a much pleasante state.

"I was, but my thirst was a bit too bothersome so I decided to come home." A grin appeared on her face.

"Perfect timing then. I was just about to hunt. Join me." The way she said 'Join me' intrigued me. It was neither a question nor demand. She said it as if she just knew that I was going to come with her.

My smile mirrored hers and we took off toward the hunting grounds. With each step she wove through the trees with an unheard of grace.

The scent of a deer came to my attention and Bella tracked it down. Her pounce on the animal was low the ground yet powerful. She drank deeply and I could see the utter ecstasy that clouded her face.

Once the last drop was removed she stood up, her eyes still tinged red. A single bead of blood ran from the corner of her lip and fell onto her cleavage. With that single drip I was pushed over the edge.

Before my mind could rationalize I closed the distance between us and met her lips with my own frantically.

**I'm definitely having a bit of writer's block, but I refuse to leave a story unfinished! Give me some love people!**


	20. Sally Homemaker

Chapter 20: Sally Homemaker

Bella's Point of View

The tangy taste of blood had yet to settle on my tongue when a new, much more delicious taste erupted in my mouth. Carlisle's lips were on mine and I could feel his urgency mixing with my own. His tongue flicked out almost in a teasing manner and I could feel his hands exploring my body.

I pulled Carlisle closer to me and felt his hand snake up my shirt. My emotions were overflowing and I couldn't think coherently. All hope of any thoughts were banished when he ripped my bra while fondling my breast. I let out a low moan.

There was a pressure in the back of my head, a nagging pressure.

Carlisle grinded his erection into me and I gyrated my hips with him.

"Bella" He growled out, his accent turning me on more if it was even possible. I hitched my leg up his thigh.

The nagging pushed forth again.

"Carlisle." My voice came out more of a whimper than I wanted it to. His lips trailed downwards along my cheekbone and onto my neck.

"Yes?" He whispered, his cool breath tickling me.

"You're married." Carlisle grunted in response, stroking me just the way that made me crazy. I let out another moan before focusing all my will power on just stepping away. My warped morality fueled me after a few more breathless touches.

I pushed away and an excruciating pain shot through me.

"You're married." I reiterated. His hooded eyes of black lust slowly cleared. "I can't help you break your vows. I couldn't respect myself if I was some whore of a mistress. I just can't-" Carlisle nodded and his bangs shadowed his eyes from my view.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I never meant to put you is such a situation." His voice sounded very rehearsed. I pulled my eyes away from him, for once not enjoying the look on his face. A distant figure caught my eye and a gasp filled my lungs. Carlisle's eyes snapped up and he followed my line of sight. "Esme."

Her face was that absolutely stunned and perplexed. Her eyes fluttered as if she thought the sight before her was suddenly going to shift into something more plausible.

I opened my mouth, but could not find any words of explanation for the simple reason that there was no explanation.

Esme tilted her head to the side ever so slightly and I stood frozen in place. Carlisle made no move. He seemed just as stunned as her.

Her body twisted around, head still facing us before she suddenly took off running in the opposite direction.

I didn't know what to do and Carlisle didn't seem to either. I took in his appearance. He looked disheveled in the sort of 'I just did something dirty, come over here and I'll do it again' way.

I tried not to think about how bad I looked as I straightened out my hair and clothes. I could smell Carlisle on me. We stood in a disturbing silence. I pointed my head in the direction Esme went and he nodded in agreement.

We ran side by side, just a hair's breadth away from each other towards home. Before we entered I stopped Carlisle and against my better judgment I smoothed down his mussed hair and shirt. He watched with a warm look on his face that calmed me down minutely.

The house was just the way I left, which felt strange to me. Everyone was acting normal, as if I just didn't make out with a married man. Peter and Emmett were still situated in front of the TV making a racket and I heard Charlotte moving around in my room.

Esme, to my utter surprise, looked completely normal. There was no trace of the shock that colored her face not ten minutes ago. She was cleaning up the scraps of the broken dining room table and humming to herself, looking completely content.

Carlisle furrowed his eyebrows together just as perplexed as me and I took that moment to escape upstairs. A panic attack was quickly taking over all my senses. I barged into my room, startling Charlotte. She looked me over once before she smiled a wicked grin.

"You little home wreaker." She said in a teasing whisper and I groaned before plopping on the bed and putting my head between my legs. Years of practicing breathing exercises weren't helping.

"Please not now, Char." I murmured. She turned on stereo effectively blocking out the noise downstairs and masking our voices. She sat down beside me on the bed, bouncing me up.

"Tell mama what happened." Charlotte said in a soothing voice and tapped her lap. I crawled into her arms and curled up in into a ball, my head resting on her bosom. A fleeting thought ran through my head on how I never had this with Renee.

"We were hunting and he just started kissing me. It felt so right. It was completely different than when I kiss you or Peter. The lust is still there, but it is tenfold and it's just so much more than any kiss I've ever had. I feel so virginal." My last sentence came out in a whining tone that made me wince. Charlotte chuckled.

"And then?"

"And then my goddamn ethics gouged my eyes out. When I pushed away from him she was there." Charlotte laughed again and I growled at her. "I-" my voice dropped and wavered. She looked me in the eyes and I couldn't look away. "I think I love him." Charlotte beamed.

"I'm so happy for you!" She cooed in a chipper voice.

"Well I'm not! Of all the men to fall for I go for the one with the perfect wife. She's a saint! I've looked her over a thousand times and I can't find a single flaw. She's the perfect wife and homemaker!"

"Perfect is an opinion my dear and maybe Carlisle isn't looking for Sally Homemaker." I scoffed.

"Regardless, I don't want to be _that_ woman, a 'home wrecker' in your words." I felt deflated and Charlotte gave me a squeeze.

"Bella, please take a step back from the situation. _He _kissed you. In all the time we have been here has he ever kissed Esme?"

"That doesn't change the fact that he is married."

Charlotte heaved a sigh.

"What it comes down to, Bella, is which is more important to you, the happiness others? Or the happiness of yourself?"

**Normally, I don't see myself in any of my characters except when I channel a small part of my recessive personality and have that as their basis, but Charlotte in this chapter was ALL me. **

**I never make a relationship easy. If you read any of my other works you'd know that all too well. Also, I edited my other story Idle Death. **

**Review. **


	21. Whispered Shout

**Chapter 21: Whispered Shout**

**Carlisle's Point of View**

I was in heaven.

Bella was in my arms.

"You're married." Her words didn't register to me until she pushed me away.

I was in hell.

"I can't help you break your vows. I couldn't respect myself if I was some whore of a mistress. I just can't-" I nodded and my body went on autopilot. I was stupid and foolish to kiss her like that. I was just a dirty old adulterous to her.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I never meant to put you is such a situation." She couldn't look me in the eyes and I felt a stab through my heart. She gasped and I followed her line of sight.

"Esme."

I watched my wife run away. Bella and I followed all too soon after. She stopped me outside of the house and I panicked. Too many thoughts rushed through my head.

I had pined after Bella for too many years on no basis after only two chance encounters. I felt pathetic. I felt despicable. I was desperate.

And then Bella bestowed onto me a little piece of paradise lost. She reached up with those delicate little hands of her and brushed my hair back. I tried to hold my feelings in, but when she ran her hands down my chest, straightening out my shirt I knew I couldn't suppress it anymore.

I was in love with Bella.

Perhaps, from her actions she at least had some tender feelings towards me, but that was only a hope.

My happy musings faded away as we entered the house I once treasured. I now had a slight distaste to it.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting when I stepped through the door, but it wasn't this calmness. It felt eerie, like the quite before a storm.

Esme was picking up the shrapnel of the table Bella had destroyed this morning. I was confident that she already ordered a replica piece.

I stood awkwardly just inside of the doorway. I should have listened to Jasper. I should have thought before acting. I should have done a lot of things, but that was the past and I already fucked up the present. I can't worry about the past when the it is screaming right in my face.

Music started blaring from upstairs and I noticed Bella had escaped to her room. I envied her for that.

Finally, I manned up and joined Esme in the dining room. I helped her pick up the large chunks of wood. She didn't look at me, just continued. When most of it was cleaned Esme fetched the broom and pan from the kitchen. Wordlessly, she handed me the pan and I squatted down to hold it.

A part of me wanted Esme to sweep the sawdust in my face for my sins. But she didn't, such actions were just out of her meek character. In measured motions she brushed the broom across the hardwood floor, gathering the mess into the pan.

I followed her back into the kitchen just waiting for her to explode. She dampened a cloth and started picking up the small dust particles trapped in the crevices of the floorboards.

"Esme stop!" I wanted to shout, but it came out as a whisper. She looked up at me with wide eyes. "We need to talk about this." Esme stood up and held the damp rag to her chest.

"Talk about what?"

I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I hated hurting her, but I hated more that Bella thought, well knew, that I was a bad husband.

"Please don't be like that. Just talk to me about what just happened."

"Nothing happened. Bella and you were just hunting."

Esme turned back to her work and I shook my head and walked to my office feeling like a complete failure.

* * *

**Third Person's Point of View**

The floor was absolutely immaculate. Esme had made sure of that. She was always perfect when it came to cleaning, even in her human life.

The water faucet beneath her fingers had the same temperature as her as she turned it on to wet a sponge. With a weak squeeze the sponge formed suds. She ran the sponge over the countertop she had regrouted a few days back.

Her hand had broken through the granite countertop as her mind remained blank.

"Oh!" Esme's face scrunched up. "Emmett! Who broke the countertop?" Emmett couldn't hear her over his videogame and music from upstairs. She stamped her feet into the living room and right in front of the TV.

"Mom, you're blocking the game!" Emmett whined while leaning to his side trying to see the screen. Peter still had a good view and was taking the lead.

"Did you break the countertop in the kitchen?" Emmett didn't avert his eyes from the television.

"It was fine an hour ago when me and Pete walked through it. Maybe Bella broke it. She's a newborn, stuff like that is bound to happen." Esme bristled, her eyes darkening.

"Bella, that sweet girl, would _never_ break anything!" Emmett finally looked away from the TV, stunned. Peter paused the game, equally as shocked as Emmett.

"Are you okay?" Emmett stood up and placed his hand on Esme's shoulder. Esme's face warped from fury to a small smile in the space of a second.

"Of course I'm fine. Why ever do you ask?"

**I feel like… my writing skills are going to waste here. **


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